Ask a Doctor!
by Revengent
Summary: Have you ever wanted to know something about the doctors of PPTH? Well, this is the place to find out the answers!
1. Episode 1

**Hey everyone! It's me with another House fic. What I have to say first is very important. The idea for this fic was inspired by Angel's Star story _Ask a Pirate! _Please go and read hers, because it is very funny and good. It's well worth the read, even if you don't like Pirates of the Caribbean (but I do find it hard to believe that someone out there doesn't like POTC).**

**The next thing is that this fic can only continue by you! What I mean is that you would leave a review asking a doctor a question. You can ask anything, as long as you're not flaming me. Right now I only have House, Cuddy, Wilson, Cameron, Chase and Foreman written in here, but if enough questions are asked for Kutner, 13, or Taub I will include them also. **

**And one more thing. I'm just a gal that is writing this for fun. Please don't come to me telling me I'm stupid. But I will take constuctive critism.**

**Alrighty, on with the fic!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own House. But one could wish...**

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Episode 1

(Cameras begin rolling as the theme song for _Ask a Doctor_ begins playing. A girl with curly, short, brown hair comes skipping onto stage. She sits in a chair that sits in the middle with three chairs on each side. She makes a motion for the music to stop).

**Revengent:** Hello! I said hello! (Audience members answer back with "hello"). I am Revengent and I will be your host for _Ask a Doctor!_

(The audience claps)

**Revengent: **Now there are a couple things of business before we bring out the stars of the show.

**Random audience member: **Bring out Chase NOW!

**Revengent: **Err…he'll be out soon enough. _Anyways…_the idea for this was inspired by Angel's Star story _Ask a Pirate! _It is really awesome and if you ever want to read something to make you laugh, go and read Angel's fic. You'll be glad you did. So stop by and read and review! Next up is the fact that this totally depends on you, the reader to make this fic go further. This is only the pilot episode, but from now on, when you read, be sure to ask a question (or questions) for your favorite doctors (or not so favorite) to answer. So just ask the questions when you leave a review, and you will have your question answered on the next episode. And now, the stars of the show!

(House, Wilson, Cuddy, Cameron, Chase and Foreman come in from left stage. All look rather confused as to why they are here. After hearing the audience's applause, Chase waves to adoring fangirls while House threatens the audience with his cane. Each takes their seat, which has their name embroidered in silver on the back of black chairs. The seating arrangement is starting on the left Cuddy, House, Wilson, Revengent, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman on the right.)

**Revengent: **Now that we have all of our doctors here, we can properly begin!

**House: **Yes, let's start this parade of fun. (Rolls eyes)

**Cameron:** Come on. You never know, this could be tons of excitement!

**House:** Your enthusiasm kills me.

**Cuddy: **House, please try to be more agreeable. If we are going to be stuck here, we might as well not be so stubborn. Meaning you.

**House:** Me? Stubborn? (Points at Revengent) It's her that's the stubborn one!

**Revengent:** Um…cookies anyone? (Holds up a plate of chocolate chip cookies)

**Chase: **Cookies! (Grabs a cookie)

**Foreman:** Your delicious cookies won't fool us this time!

**Wilson: **Yeah! It wasn't nice to trap us in that room with those cookies! It distracted us!

**House: **Why can't we just leave?

**Revengent: **While you were busy eating those cookies, you didn't notice you were signing an agreement to stay on this show as long as I want you.

**House: **I don't believe you.

**Revengent:** Oh really? (Pulls an official looking paper and hands it to House)

**House: **(Reading from the paper) "We understand that we are signing a binding contract in which that if it is broken we shall be met with severe consequences. Signed doctors House, Cuddy, Wilson…"

**Wilson: **(Reading over House's shoulder) this is madness! I have patients to take care of and-

**Revengent: **Don't worry. I have all of you covered.

**Cuddy: **What about the-

**Revengent: **And yes, I have the Clinic covered.

**House: **Well then, I'm staying.

**Cuddy, Wilson, Cameron, Chase, Foreman:** What!?

**House: **As long as I do anything as long as I don't have to work in the Clinic.

**Revengent: **I thought that you would like that.

**Foreman:** So what do we have to do?

**Revengent: **All you have to do is answer questions that people ask. (They complain and protest). It shouldn't be that hard, all you have to do is tell the truth!

**House:** But everybody lies.

**Revengent: **Of course they do! I thought that you might bring up that issue. So guess what I did!

**Foreman: **Go ahead and tell us. Get it over with.

**Revengent: **I enabled all of your chairs with lie-sensing devices. So when you lie, we all will know.

**House: **I didn't steal anything from Cuddy's underwear drawer.

(A red flashing light goes off over House's head and over the speaker system "lie" is chanted over and over again. House laughs as Cuddy tries to hit him)

**Revengent: **I think we get the point. Tony, please silence the alarm.

(Tony, a blond haired guy in the sound booth pushes a button to quiet the alarm and gives Revengent the thumbs up).

**Foreman: **Hey does you chair have one of those devices too?

**Revengent: **Of course it does. (Looks around with shifty eyes)

**Foreman: **And why do I not believe you?

**Revengent:** You'll just have to believe me. That's in the contract too.

**Foreman: **This is bull

(Foreman's alarm goes off)

**Revengent: **This isn't BS! And this is rated K+! No cursing!

**Foreman: **Whatever.

**Revengent:** Now, that we have all of that settled, we will have to say good-bye until next time.

**House:** Oh I can hardly wait.

**Revengent: **I hope that you won't have to wait long. So viewers (readers) review away!

(The camera begins to zoom out as the theme song is played again)

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**So now it's your turn to ask questions!**


	2. Episode 2

**Yay! Thanks you for the wonderful reviews! I got a lot of questions and I was able to write another chapter! Thanks so much! In fact I got so many I thought I was going to have to split them up, but I didn't have to. Keep the questions coming if you have anymore, and let all of your House-loving friends know! Here we go...:D Remember reviews are what keeps this going!**

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Episode 2

(The audience claps and the theme song plays as Revengent walks onto the stage and takes her seat. She motions for the applause to cease)

**Revengent:** Hello again and welcome to the second episode of _Ask a Doctor!_ Thank you for all of the reviews! You all made me one happy person.

**Audience:** Aww…

**Revengent: **One notice before we bring out the doctors. I will try to ask everybody's question in this one episode, but if I run out of time I will get to them in the next episode. And I'm going to try not to answer the same question twice, because don't we all want to know as much as we can. Right? Sí. Now here they are!

(House and Chase come in, followed by a reluctant Wilson, Cameron and Cuddy. Cameron looks back and notices that Foreman is not following so she goes off, and begins to drag him onto the stage. They take their assigned seats and look to Revengent).

**Revengent: **So how is everyone today?

**Wilson: **Great.

**Cuddy: **Couldn't be better.

**Foreman:** I was fine until I had to come here.

**Cameron:** Oh come on Eric. It's not going to be that bad.

**House: **There she goes with the first name thing again…

**Revengent: **Anyways, enough with the chitchat, we have many questions to answer so let's get on with it. Here are the questions (waves a stack of index cards).

**Foreman: **Woo hoo.

**Revengent: **Okay the first question is for House. Joe-Nasgrrll asks: Why do you have to be so sarcastic? ALL the time?

**House: **Am I that sarcastic? (Everyone nods) Well I guess that I get tired of everybody's stupidity and they deserve a little bit of sarcasm.

**Revengent: **Can your sarcasm also be because of your inability to deal with your emotions?

**House: **What are talking about? What do you know? You're just a teenager with a rotting brain because she's always on the computer. You probably are one of those emo kids that cut themselves.

**Revengent: **I seemed to have hit an emotional spot (Audience and the rest of the doctors laughs). Anyways, another question for House. There are some people that don't mind your sarcasm. Solar-sun asks: (pause and looks at card) I love you and will you marry me?

**House: **What? Me marry you?

**Revengent: **No, you got a marriage proposal from Solar-sun (however, I wouldn't mind if you said yes to me…). She also said: I love his sarcastic nature, his rough good looks, and his baby blue eyes. I don't care if he's twice my age! I want him as my husband! I'll bribe him with all the Vicodin that he wants.

**House: **That sounds like a pretty good offer. It's about time that someone notices this sexy beast for what he's worth.

**Cameron and Cuddy: **What about me? (Both glare at each other)

**House:** Uh…but for now I think that I'm not going to settle down for now. However, if you ever want to hang out one night, you know where I am.

**Revengent: **Okay… (Shuffles the cards) We now have a question for Chase. Barlowfreak101 asks: What is it like working with House?

**Chase: **It is absolutely an experience. There is the risk of going to jail and the risk of losing your sanity.

**Revengent: **Fair enough. I have another question for House. Sorafrosty asks: What's it like to be high all the time?

**House: **I'm not high all the time. (Looks up, anticipating the alarm to go off. It doesn't) See? I'm not high all the time.

**Revengent: **How about the times that you are?

**House: **I don't want to promote anything to our young people in the audience but for our more mature viewers (whispers) it's awesome.

**Revengent: **Oh I see. House you have another question-

**House: **(mumbles something inaudible)

**Revengent: **RavennaNightwind asks: Why are you convinced that Chase is an underwear model? This implies that you've seen him in underwear.

**House: **Seen Chase in his underwear? What in the hell kind of question is that?

**Revengent: **Just answer the question.

**House: **I have never seen Chase in his underwear. (House is clearly uncomfortable). I just thought he would be one…you know he has great hair…and it seems like he would be the kind of guy that would like to show off…

**Revengent: **That's fine House. We're done with you…for now.

**House: **Thank God. (Takes out his bottle Vicodin and takes two. He looks at the bottle, and decides to take another.)

**Revengent: **Now we turn our attention to Foreman. Goathland1 asks: Will you ever visit your brother in jail? Will you ever be able to give him a second chance? You got a second chance so why shouldn't he get one? (Looks away from card to Foreman) Oh…burn.

**Foreman:** I don't need your opinions. I only got a second chance because I decided to change my life and habits. He could have done the same, but he didn't. So I'm not sure if I can give him a second chance when he already rejected one once. So at the moment, I don't plan to go back to my past.

**Revengent: **Eh. So I bet I know the answer to the next question by goathland1: Will you ever return to your childhood home?

**Foreman: **I worked too hard to get away from what was holding be back to go back to it. So no, I don't see myself going home anytime soon.

**Revengent: **Understandable. Next on the list is Cameron. Goathland1 asks: Do you still love your husband? Do you still miss your husband? Do you ever go to his grave?

**Cameron: **(Sighs) Of course I still love my husband, and there isn't a day that goes by that I do not miss him.

**Audience & Revengent: **Awww!

**Cameron: **But I don't go his grave that often, only twice a year. I go on our anniversary and the day he died…I think it is important to move on, but not forget.

**Revengent: **How sweet (Blows nose). Another question for Cameron from goathland1: Do you want children?

**Cameron: **I would love to…but not now.

**Cuddy: **(mumble)

**Revengent: **Huh?

**Cuddy:** Nothing.

**Revengent: **Are you sure? (Cuddy nods) Okay, one last question for Cameron. Ah, it's a tough one. Goathland1 asks: Do you like or love Chase? And are you over House?

**Cameron: **Uh...

(The lights darken and a spotlight focuses on Cameron. Revengent gets a microphone from somewhere and shoves it in Cameron's face)

**Revengent: **Come on, this is the one question everybody wants to know!

**Cameron:** I… (Looks at Chase and House who are both at the edge of their seats). I lo-love Chase.

(Alarms blare. Everyone covers their ears and Revengent motions for them to be switched off).

**Cameron: **Just kidding! I like Chase!

(Albeit, the alarms blare yet again.)

**Cameron: **(Yelling over alarm). What!? This makes no sense.

**Wilson: **(Covers ears and yells). Maybe the feelings you have for Chase is somewhere between like and love.

**Revengent: **Tony! Turn it off!

(The alarms cease and regular lighting returns).

**Cameron: **I think Wilson's right. (Everyone covers their ears but no sound or flashing lights come).

(Everyone cheers, not for Cameron's answer, but for the fact that the alarms did not go off and kill everyone's ears. Chase cheers too, but then stops after he realizes what just happened.

**Chase: **You don't love me?

**Cameron: **I-

**Revengent: **You have another question to answer.

**Cameron: **(Cameron whispers "Thanks" to Revengent for postponing her answer to Chase's question, but then remembers what the other question from goathland1 was).

**Revengent:** Well?

**Cameron: **Am I over House?

**Random audience member: **You have to be! It's canon for you and Chase to be together!

**Chase: **Canon? What is that?

**Revengent: **It's a fan fiction term. So Cameron…

**Cameron: **I guess…I am for the most part. You know how old crushes never die.

**House: **Oh no…

**Revengent: **Now to the other side of the Cameron/Chase ship-

**Chase: **We're not on a ship.

**Revengent: **(Sighs). Chase a couple of questions for you from goathland1. First: Do you love Cameron or are you afraid of dying alone? And do you ever think that you will ever be able to forgive your father for leaving your mother?

**Chase: **Doesn't everybody fear dying alone? But I do love Cameron. Why else would I have insisted that she should go out with me for so many weeks?

**Revengent: **Yeah. That did get annoying after the second week.

**Chase: **As for question two, I found it hard to forgive my dad. I mean, he left me and drove my mom to her death. He treated me as if he forgot me.

**Revengent: **I hate crappy dads. (Clenches fists)

**Chase: **But, I know that he was sorry for what he did. So… (Looks up) daddy I forgive you.

**Revengent: **How beautiful! (Hands out Kleenex and pats Chase on the back)

**Revengent: **Next we go on to Wilson. Goathland1 asks: Do you think you will ever marry and not break up?

**Wilson: **I just think I haven't met the right person yet. When I do, things will work out…what are you doing?

**Revengent: **(Her head is resting on Wilson's shoulder) Oh nothing. You just never know when you'll find that right person.

**Wilson:** Right…

**Revengent: **(Sits up straight) Anyway, next question for Wilson: Have you ever tried to track down your homeless brother? If you found him what would you say?

**Wilson: **I have tried, but it's hard to find a homeless person. I would tell him that I love him and I accept him for who he is.

**Revengent: **That's so cute. Now…Cuddy we haven't heard from you today. Goathland1 asks: Will you adopt? Do you think you will ever find a man?

**Cuddy: **Well I hope I will find "the man." And I'll adopt as a last alternative.

**Revengent: **Also, goathland1 wants to know if there is anyone at the hospital that you would like more than a friend?

**Cuddy: **Yes.

**Revengent: **Who?

**Cuddy: **I don't have to. That's not what the question asked.

**Revengent: **(Looks down at card) Dang it.

**Cuddy: **Can I ask to be immune to the question that would ask who it is that I might like?

**Revengent: **Sure. You all have the guarantee to have one question that you don't have to answer.

**House: **What!? So I didn't have to answer that Chase question about the underwear?

**Revengent: **Oops. Okay two more questions for House.

**House: **Why must you torture me?

**Revengent: **These are both from goathland1. The first is: How much more of drugs, alcohol, and junk food do you think your body will be able to take before it dies?

**House: **Much more. (Pulls out a bottle of scotch and a bag of Cheetos and begins to eat)

**Revengent: **And (Looks at card and sighs) Do you have feelings for anyone at PPTH, maybe someone whose last name starts with a C and ends with an N?

**House: **Can I use that no answer question thing now?

**Revengent: **Sure, but you won't get anymore.

**House: **Never mind, I'll answer. Yes, I have feelings for someone at PPTH, and with those suggested letters. But "feelings" have a whole range of variety, ranging from hate to love and all those in between.

**Wilson: **Way to be vague House.

**Revengent: **Not the answer I wanted but whatever…we got through all the questions!

**House: **Yippy.

**Revengent: **Well we are out of time, but remember folks that it's you that keeps this going. So leave those reviews with questions. Until next time, bye!

(The scene fades as each doctor starts arguing with one another)


	3. Episode 3

**Dodges the vegetables that are being thrown Sorry for the delay in the update. My internet was acting dumb and I have been working on my other House fic. I've been rewriting it and adding stuff since my skill has improved a lot in two years. I'm planning on posting that soon too. I have up to chapter 24 for it so far. So look for that soon! **

**But here it is, episode 3. As always, read, review, and ask those questions. Thank you so much for those that have been reading, you are the ones that make this great!**

**There are some notes after so...look at them if you want to.**

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Episode Three

(The spotlight follows Revengent as she walks on stage. She sits in her seat and motions to the doctors that are coming on stage. Audience members hold signs and scream for their favorite doctor. After escaping from fangirls, House and Chase join the others who have already taken their seat).

**Revengent: **Thank you for joining us for the third episode of _Ask a Doctor!_ Now let me get to what you all want, the questions, and spare you from hearing me talk any longer than you must.

**House: **Thank God.

**Revengent:** I was being humble…anyway here is the first question. (Pulls a stack of note cards from her pocket). The first question is for House. Notlupus asks: Why is it never lupus?

**House:** Why are you asking me? I wonder the same thing.

**Revengent: **It's the mystery of the world. Next question from notlupus is: When and why did you start using metaphors so much?

**House: **I started using them when I gained my sarcasm. The reason why I use metaphors is to explain complex medical conditions to these dim-wits. (Points to the others)

**Chase:** I resent that remark!

**House: **Get over it.

**Revengent:** Notlupus asked one more question, and I saved it for last because it…well you'll see. The question is: Are you or are you not gay for Wilson? (To shut up all those annoying slash fics…)

(The audience goes crazy, slashers fighting with anti-slashers. Wilson is blushing. Revengent tries to calm the crowd, but they can't hear her.)

**Revengent: **Plan B. I hoped I wouldn't have had to do this but… (She pushes a button next to her chair and alarms start to blare. Everyone stops yelling, except two members of the audience.)

**Audience member #1: **House is soooo in love with Wilson! They are perfect for each other!

**Audience member #2: **They are friends, not lovers!

(They realize everyone is staring at them, so they take their seats and hush).

**Revengent: **So what is it House? Do you like Wilson, or not?

**House:** I have never had any sexual relations with Wilson, or any other man. I am only his friend, but I don't know what Wilson thinks about me…

**Wilson:** God no, that's sick.

**Revengent: **I think that clarifies that. Next from RavennaNightwind, we have a question for everyone: What do you think the hospital's theme song should be? And why?

**Cuddy: **I would have to say _Animals_ by Nickelback. Because some people that work there are psycho. (She says this while staring at House, while he has the look of "Who, me?")

**Revengent: **Understandable.

**Foreman:** I think it's more like _Another One Bites the Dust. _Do I need to explain why?

**Revengent: **Oh my God! I love Queen! You and I may have more in common than we thought.

**Foreman: **Um…yay?

**Wilson: **Oh! I have a good one! The _Gilligan's Island _theme. You know, House is the Skipper, Cameron is Mary Ann, Foreman is the Professor, Cuddy can be Ginger, Chase is-

**House:** The cannibal.

**Chase: **Hey!

**Revengent: **And Wilson, that makes you Gilligan.

**Wilson: **I am not…whatever.

**Revengent: **It's okay, I thought that Gilligan was the best, and think that you are too-

**Foreman:** FAVORITISM!

**Revengent: **It's my show; I can do what I want here. (Sticks out tongue). Chase, what song do you think suits the hospital?

**Chase: **_You're So Vain _by Carly Simon. Everyone thinks that they are so freaking special. What about me?

**Revengent: **Um…Chase? (Points to the audience where there are many "I love Chase", "I am a Chase fangirl", and "I ship me/Chase" signs).

**Chase: **Oh those are for me? (Does his sexy hair flick thing and smiles) Hi.

(The crowd goes crazy)

**Revengent: **Cameron? What song fits PPTH?

**Cameron: **_I Will Always Love You!_

**Revengent: **The Whitney Houston song? What does that have to do with anything?

**Cameron: **Things…

**Revengent: **Okay, we'll just leave it at that…House you are the last one we have to hear from.

**House: **_867-5309_. But when I called, it was Cuddy instead of Jenny…same amount of syllables, so the mix-up is not that big of a surprise.

**Cuddy: **You wish.

**Revengent: **Now what, for real?

**House:** _At the Bottom of Everything._ By Bright Eyes.

**Revengent: **Well that's depressing.

**House: **But it is the truth. On the big scale of things, we are really no one.

**Revengent: **You would say a song that is philosophical. Anyway, since this is supposed to be humor and not angst, let's move on. RavennaNightwind has another question, but for Wilson. Why do you put up with House?

**Wilson: **Good question. With no answer.

**Revengent: **Oh come on. No interesting story, he didn't save your life or threaten to blackmail you or something?

**Wilson: **No. But no matter how stubborn or annoying he may be, he's still my friend. (Leans in closer to Revengent) And if I did stop being his friend, he would have no friends.

**Revengent: **That's kind of you. Last question from RavennaNightwind: Cuddy, who is your favorite person that House has hired?

**Cuddy: **They all have their good and bad parts. I don't really have a favorite Duckling, but if you could combine Cameron's compassion, Foreman's determination, Chase's uniqueness, well you get the idea. And the new ones I don't know well enough yet.

**Revengent: **I guess that works, besides, Foreman over there might get upset if you like Chase more than him.

**Foreman: **I hate this.

**Revengent: **Tough cookies. bolis86 asks Cuddy: How come we don't know anything from your family?

**Cuddy: **I try to keep my family away from the hospital. So far it's worked.

**Revengent: **Next we have a question for Cameron. Goathland1 asks her: How old are you?

**Cameron: **I am twenty-nine.

**Revengent: **Okay, next. (Looks at card) Oh this is going to be fun…goathland1 asks Chase a couple of questions.

**Chase**: Go for it. I love my fans.

**Revengent: **Okay…Do you know if you have sex with someone that is drunk or stoned it is date rape?

**House: **Ha! This is great. (Offers popcorn to Cuddy, and at first he declines, but then decides to have some anyway).

**Chase: **I didn't rape Cameron! She was willing! She came on to me! And she didn't press charges!

**Revengent: **So that brings me to the other questions: Did you mean to date rape Cameron? You must be happy that she didn't go to the police.

**Chase: **Yes, I am happy she didn't go to the police. I didn't rape her. Damn. Get a life.

**Revengent: **Geez, calm down. And don't insult people. Goathland1 asks Cuddy: Do you miss treating the ill? Because now all you seem to do is paperwork.

**Cuddy: **I guess so. But I like running the hospital. It was always my dream to be Dean of Medicine.

**Revengent: **Foreman, goathland1 asks: Do you think of Cameron as a friend? Do you love her like a sister?

**Foreman: **Yeah, I guess I do think of Cameron as a sister. I look out for her.

**Cameron: **Aw, thanks.

**Revengent: **Wilson, goathland1 asks; have you ever had a one night stand?

(Audience "oohs" and Wilson blushes)

**Wilson: **(Quietly) Yes.

**Revengent: **You know I put your seat next to me for a reason.

(Wilson looks confused).

**Revengent: **(Sighs) Oh well. Goathland1 asks Wilson: Do you want to have children?

**Wilson: **Sure.

**Revengent: **Yay! Goathland1 asks you; do you think House is a good person?

**Wilson: **Of course. Under that rough, snarky exterior is a compassionate, sweet…person.

**Revengent: **If you say so. The next question is for House. Goathland1 asks, do you think that Wilson is a good person?

(House is a sleep, bowl of popcorn on the floor)

**Revengent: **HOUSE!

**House: **Huh? What?

**Revengent:** Do you think that Wilson is a good person?

**House: **Uh, yeah. He's like Mother Teresa in male form.

**Wilson: **I guess that's a compliment.

**Revengent: **House, goathland1 asks: Would you like to have children?

**House: **I see enough kids at work. I don't need any youngsters of my own running around pooping and breaking my stuff.

**Wilson: **So no spawn of House?

**House: **No.

**Revengent: **Maybe your mind will be changed one day. We have one last question for House for now from goathland1. What is your favorite colour?

**House:** Blue, like my eyes. (Bats his eyelashes)

**Revengent: **Stunning. The next question is from butch16423 for Cuddy. Why doesn't the hospital supply House with a motorized scooter to get around the hospital?

**Cuddy:** House would abuse the privilege.

**Revengent: **And that brings us to the next question from butch16423, this time for House: If you had a motorized scooter, who would you try to avoid running over and who would you try to run over?

**House: **I guess I would avoid children. They don't deserve such brutality. I would run over anybody that I already hit with my cane.

**Revengent: **So basically, anybody that pisses you off?

**House: **Or if they smell weird.

**Revengent: **I hope I smell okay.

**House: **Na, you're fine.

**Revengent: **Whew. The next question is for Wilson. Have you ever considered getting House a pet?

**Wilson: **I have, maybe it would calm his troubled soul.

(House scoffs)

**Revengent: **House, butch16423 asks you would kind of pet you would want Wilson to get you?

**House: **A parrot. It could teach it to speak in metaphors and fly around and poop on other people.

**Cuddy: **Lovely.

**Revengent: **There's also a question for you Cuddy. If House brought his pet to work, would you consider making it the hospital mascot?

**Cuddy: **No! It would be like having a mini-House with feathers!

**Revengent: **House, which of your "fellows" would be taking care of your pet (or hospital mascot?)

**House: **Foreman. It's fun to watch him suffer.

**Revengent: **It is fun isn't it?

(Foreman crosses his arms and pouts.)

**Revengent: **Don't worry, we're only teasing. (Hi-fives House). The next question is for you House. It's from BeautifullybR0KeN and the question is…do you still love Stacy?

**House: **Uh… (Looks around as everybody else stares intently at him) I guess I'll always care for her, but I could never love her like I did before.

**Revengent: **Love is a complicated thing. Next we have a question from Sorafrosty. Chase, have you ever thought of grabbing House's cane while he walks by and running away with it?

**Chase: **Yes, I have. And I have done it, but he got me back with something worse (shivers).

**Revengent: **Ah. Anyways, next we have more questions for Chase. First off tourniquet.love.spite asks, do you say crikey mate a lot?

**Chase: **I used to when I was a wee lad, but since I have lived in America for a long time, I don't say it much anymore.

**Revengent: **Can you say it for us?

**Chase: **Crikey mate!

(People in the audience go crazy and Chase laughs nervously)

**Revengent: **Thank you. Next question from tourniquet.love.spite is also for Chase. Did you cry when Steve Irwin died?

**Chase: **Of course. Who didn't? He was an amazing man.

**Revengent: **I agree. Lastly from tourniquet.love.spite is…these questions are always awkward for me to ask…

**Chase: **Well…?

**Revengent: **tourniquet.love.spite asks…Will you marry me?

**Chase: **Umm…I don't know you. But if I got to know you…maybe?

**Revengent: **Seems fair enough. Hey guys, guess what!

**Foreman: **What?

**Revengent: **That was the last question. We're done.

**Foreman: **Hallelujah!

**Revengent: **Maybe next time I won't pick on Foreman too much.

**House: **Oh come on. It makes my day.

**Revengent: **Or maybe not. That's all for now. This is Revengent reminding you to review and ask those questions you've been pondering and tune in next time!

(The scene fades as Foreman tries to get up but the others restrain him).

**A/N:**

**All of these songs are real. If anyone wants lyrics, I can email them to you. Just let me know. :)**

**And I'm not hating on slash fics or slashers. It's just how I wrote it in here.**


	4. Episode 4

**'Ello. Here's the next chapter. I don't think it's as good. Meh. Anyways, thanks for everyone that has been reviewing and reading and asking those questions. It helps out a lot! So continue doing it! And you can ask anything you want, like "what's your favorite Mexican food?"**

* * *

(Revengent walks onto the stage and is followed by the doctors as the crowd cheers for their favorite person. They take their normal assigned seats as the cheers gradually cease)

**Revengent: **Welcome to thefourth episode of _Ask a Doctor!_ If this is your first time, let me tell you why this is such a unique place.

**Chase: **(Raises hand in the air) Oh! Let me them tell why!

**Revengent: **Okay, go ahead.

**Chase:** This the only place where you, the fans, can ask us questions that you have been dying to know.

**Revengent: **You're absolutely right Chase. Anyway, we have a bunch of questions ahead of us, so let's get started. First off, cryingblacktears asks Foreman; do you mind that you always seem to get left out of the big, meaty, personal story arcs?

**Foreman: **Why do I always get picked on?

**Revengent: **Just answer the question.

**Foreman: **Fine. Eh, I don't mind that much. It would be nice to have a little more attention once and awhile, but it is good to be left out of the gossip and love triangles.

**Revengent: **The next question from cryingblacktears is for House, Wilson and Chase. What do you think of the fangirls?

**Chase: **Huh?

**Revengent: **The fangirls. (Does a broad sweeping motion to the audience) Let them hear you girls!

(All the fangirls yell)

**Wilson: **(Blushes) I'm…flattered.

**House: **I don't like being stalked. But of course, the ladies can't resist this piece of sexy goodness. (Points to self)

**Chase: **As, I've said before, I love my fans! (Blows a kiss to the crowd, causing them to cheer once more)

**Revengent: **Fangirls are what can make or break you. Speaking of which, cryingblacktears asks Foreman; how do you feel about not having any fangirls?

**Chase: **(Laughs) Foreman's a loser!

**Revengent: **Actually, I do know one Foreman fangirl. But that's the only one I know…

**Foreman: **I have plenty of fangirls!

(Silence)

**House: **A fangirl for Foreman is like snow in Florida. They never have any and will never have any.

**Revengent:** Did you know it did snow in Florida once, in like 1970-something?

**Wilson: **Really?

**House: **You're not helping with my metaphor. I was trying to point out the lack of fangirls Foreman has.

**Foreman: **Okay fine. I don't have any fangirls that I know of. Personally, it makes me sick when I see girls drooling all over Chase and House, throwing themselves at them, trying to kidnap them...you said you know a fangirl of mine?

**Revengent: **Yes.

**Foreman: **Can you, like-

**Revengent: **No.

**Foreman: **(Sulks) do I have any more fangirls out there?

**Revengent: **Are there? Let me know. Anyways, next we have a question that is also from cryingblacktears that is for Cameron. Why did you like House?

**Cameron: **Um… (Looks over at Chase)

**House: **It's the same reason why my fangirls can't resist. Sexy goodness!

**Cameron: **Well, he's smart, funny, and I guess he is sexy in a rough kind of way…

**Chase: **Allison!

**Cameron: **The people asked!

**Chase: **But-

**Revengent: **Hey, fight on your own time. The last question from cryingblcktears is for Cuddy. Do you have any feeling for anyone at PPTH?

**Cuddy: **Didn't I answer this question already?

**Revengent: **Similar, but no.

**Cuddy: **Oh. Well the answer is yes. And don't say "who?" because that's not the question.

**Revengent: **My, aren't you clever?

**Cuddy: **I like to think so.

**Revengent:** (Ignores Cuddy's OOC behavior). Our next question is for House. (Looks at card and smiles) This is a good one. Flystyle23.go.dolphins asks: House, will you ever kiss Cuddy, or are you too afraid?

(Crowd does the "ooh" sound while Wilson, Foreman and Chase laugh hysterically, and Cameron looks concerned. Cuddy blushes)

**House: **What does that mean?

**Wilson:** It means exactly what you think it means. Will you kiss Cuddy or are you too afraid?

**House:** (Points to Revengent). Are you implying something?

**Revengent: **I don't imply anything. I just ask questions and occasionally make a comment. What they ask is based off of what they see…

**House: **So is this like a dare or something?

**Revengent: **I guess you can look at it like that…

**House: **I never back down from a dare.

**Cuddy: **Whoa, hold on. Don't I have any say in this?

**House: **No. Now sit still.

**Cuddy: **House, no-

(House leans over and kisses Cuddy on the mouth. The audience is silent, and then erupts in cheers. After a few seconds, they part, both looking rather flushed.)

**Revengent: **Well…that was unexpected.

**Cuddy: **Quite.

(Awkward silence, excepts for Wilson and House, who just high-fived each other)

**Revengent: **This is awkward. And I can make it even more awkward!

**Cuddy: **I don't know how it can be.

**Revengent: **Trust me, it can. For both you and House, RavennaNightwind asks: how long has House been obsessed with your underwear Cuddy?

**Cuddy: **Oh God…

**House: **Ever since college. See, Ms. Cuddy here had an essay she needed help with, and she asked me for help, but I told her the only way that I would help her would be if she gave me her underwear.

**Revengent: **Did you give him your underwear?

**Cuddy: **I got an A on the essay, so figure it out.

**Revengent: **Well…next question. The next batch of questions is from ChasingLupin. The first one is for Cameron. Why are you so overly sensitive?

**Cameron: **It's just how I am; I don't have a certain reason why. I was born this way.

**Revengent: **Reasonable enough. The next question is for Wilson. Does it bother you that House never, ever, thanks you for anything.

**Wilson: **No...

(Alarms blare as it detected Wilson's lie)

**Revengent: **Tony! Turn it off! (Screams as she covers her ears)

(The alarm shuts off)

**Chase:** You lied! Wilson lied!

**Revengent: **So, obviously, it does bother you.

**Wilson: **(Takes a deep breath) Yes, it does. It feels like he takes advantage of me-

**House:** Oh come on. You know that I am appreciative; I just don't have to say so. I have a reputation I have to uphold.

**Chase: **A reputation to be an as-

**Revengent: **K+! No A-word. Let's move on before any fights brew…the next question is for Cuddy. Why don't you hire any Canadians? Or British people? The only people we've seen that aren't from New Jersey is Chase.

**Cuddy: **I have hired people from other countries. However, we don't get many applicants from other countries.

**Revengent: **Moving right along…the next pregunta-

**Cameron: **What?

**Revengent: **Pregunta is Spanish for question. I think. Spanish 2 is fuzzy in my memory. Anyway, the next question is for Chase. Do you miss Australia?

**Chase: **Yes, I do even though I visit there regularly now.

**Revengent: **Our next question is for Foreman. Why are you so mean to Chase when you don't know anything about him?

**Foreman: **We're just playing around. (Punches Chase on the arm) It's all in good fun. Right?

(Chase winces)

**Revengent: **This question is for all. Does anyone besides Foreman find Chase snobby and arrogant?

**House: **Uh, do I breathe?

**Wilson: **He is a bit obnoxious.

**Cuddy: **I agree.

**Cameron: **Absolutely.

**Chase: **Hey!

**Revengent: **Come on Chase. Admit it.

**Chase: **No.

**Revengent: **Whatever. Lie if you must. Oh look. A perfect lead in to our next question. Do you have emotional issues?

**Chase: **No, I don't!

**House: **My diagnosis is denial.

**Foreman:** I concur.

**Revengent: **So everyone agrees that Chase has emotional issues?

(Everyone nods)

**Chase: **This is so unfair!

**Foreman: **Stop whining. I get picked on all the time and I don't complain.

**Everyone: **Yes you do!

**Foreman: **(Mutters something inaudible)

**Revengent: **The last question from ChasingLupin is for Wilson. (Looks at card) Forget this one. (Throws card on the floor)

**House: **You can't do that! (Picks up card) "Wilson will-

**Revengent: **(Snatches card out of House's hand) I'll read it, it's my job. Wilson, will you marry me? I think you are a very young doctor. Let alone the fact that I am 13 and in a different country.

**Cameron: **Oh, I see why Revie didn't want to read it, it's because she likes Wil-

**Revengent: **Shut up! (Calmly, she turns back to Wilson) Well?

**Wilson: **I'm not really looking for anyone right now. Because of Amber and all…

**Foreman: **(Pokes Revengent on the shoulder) did you hear that?

**Revengent:** You be quiet, or I'll put laxatives in your coffee.

(Foreman looks at his coffee mug that he has been drinking out of)

**Wilson: **But maybe soon, I'll be okay to move on. And they're younger than me. (Points to Chase and Foreman)

**Revengent: **That's good. Take your time. Our next few questions are from AmayaSora. The first one is for Foreman. It reads: have you noticed that there doesn't seem to be a lot of black people at the hospital? How do you feel about that?

**Foreman:** Yeah, I noticed. But I don't mind because that makes me special. (Says this with his head held high)

**Chase: **Now who is the arrogant one?

**Revengent: **Hush. Chase, this one is for you.

**Chase: **Shoot.

**Revengent: **Do you think you'll ever go back into the seminary?

**Chase: **Nah, it's not my thing. I believe I was born to be a doctor.

**Revengent: **Good answer. This one is for House and Wilson. Who wins more often at foosball?

**Wilson and House: **Me! (They glare at each other)

**Wilson: **You so know I beat you more often.

**House: **Liar. (Sticks his tongue out)

**Wilson: **That's mature.

**Revengent: **Why don't we just say that you both win equally?

**House:** Whatever.

**Revengent: **The next question is for Wilson only. How did you get so good at poker?

**Wilson: **I got so good by playing with that guy. (Points to House) You have to have a good poker face when playing with him.

**House: **Yeah, never play strip poker with Wilson.

(Crickets chirp as everyone looks confused)

**Revengent: **I thought you said that you weren't…

**Wilson:** I've never played strip poker with House.

**House: **Yeah. It was a joke.

**Everyone else: **Oh…

**Revengent:** Okay, after the mild confusion…Cameron, what is your favorite animal?

**Cameron: **Me? Um…a rabbit? They have cute twitchy noses.

**Revengent:** They are. Until they bite your finger. (Grumbles) Anyway, the next question is for Cuddy. What would you name your kids if you had any?

**Cuddy:** I think I would wait until after they were born, but I do like the name Chandler for a boy and Jenna for a girl.

**Revengent: **Okay, and the last question from Amayasora. House, what's your favorite metaphor? Also, if you didn't have your fire cane what design would you want your cane to have?

**House: **If I didn't have a fire cane, what would I have…I think I'm going to go with a solid gold cane. That would be pimpin'.

**Wilson: **And expensive.

**House:** I don't have to worry about that. The hospital would have to pay for it.

**Cuddy: **(Scoffs) I think not.

**House:** I kissed you. I think you should do whatever I want you to do.

**Cuddy:** Whatever. Are we almost done?

**Revengent: **Almost. It would go by faster if House would finish his question.

**House: **Oh, yeah. Favorite metaphor? Hmm…the only one I can think of at the moment is "The Socratic Method. The best way we have of teaching everything-apart from juggling chainsaws." Or some sports metaphor-

**Cameron: **I hate sports metaphors.

**Revengent:** You know House; a lot of your "metaphors" are similes…

**Cuddy: **Or allusions.

**House: **Okay, okay. I use figures of speech

**Revengent: **That's better. The next two questions are from tourniquet. love. spite. The first one is for House. What is your favorite song from "Camp Rock"?

**House: **What's "Camp Rock"?

**Cameron:** House, you don't have to pretend. I saw you watching it.

**House: **I don't know what you are talking about.

**Cameron:** (Sighs) Whatever.

**Revengent: **Okay…that accomplished nothing. The next question is for Foreman. Do you love That's So Raven?

**Foreman:** No. I find her annoying.

**Chase: **Oh come on. (Starts humming the _That's So Raven_ theme song and dancing in his seat)

**Revengent:** Okay…silly004 asks our last question of the day. It's for Chase. Do you…Chase?

(Chase is still dancing)

**Revengent:** Chase!

**Chase: **Huh? Oh. I'm ready now.

**Revengent: **Okay. Do you speak any Czech like your father?

**Chase: **No. All I speak is English. Sadly.

**Revengent:** That's okay. Well, that was all the questions I have.

**House:** So we're done?

**Foreman:** We don't have to do this torturous task no longer?

**Revengent:** Not for today. However, you have to later if people ask more questions.

**Cameron: **I hope they do.

**Foreman:** You like this?

**Cameron:** Yes…?

**Revengent: **So all of you out there remember to review and ask those questions. And it can be any kind of question, no matter how random it may be. I'm your host Revengent, and I'll see you next time!

(The theme song plays as the lights fade)

* * *

**You know what to do...read, review, ask! Thanks!**


	5. Episode 5

**WOW. Okay, the Storm didn't turn out to be that bad...but this took so long to write. On Word it was 18 pages (4,575 words)! That's a lot! I hope all of you will read it all...I thought about splitting it up but...anyway, here is the next chapter. And a lot of notes at the bottom!**

**Oh, and before I start, I just wanted to let you know that I'm keeping this fic is shipper-neutral. Chase and Cameron are only together because they are on the show. I just don't want to take sides on shipping.**

* * *

(The audience's cheers begin as Revengent walks on stage, followed by the doctors, which are waving to the crowd. Wilson is shaking people's hands on the front row, and Chase is blowing kisses to his adoring fans. Eventually, everyone makes their way to their seat.)

**Revengent:** Hello and welcome to the fifth episode of _Ask a Doctor!_

**Chase: **What are you wearing?

**Revengent: **(Looks down at her attire. She is wearing a red rain coat and plaid rain boots.) I was facing Tropical Storm Fay, and these are for, you know, rain.

**Chase:** Oh…

**Revengent:** Anyway, we have a lot of questions to go through today-

**House: **You always say that!

**Revengent: **But this time we have even more! But I do have to make one correction before we start though. On the last episode, ChasingLupin asked a question for Wilson where it said "I think you are a very young doctor…" Yeah, um, she meant _good _not young. My mistake. Adjective confusion.

**Wilson:** Oh. Thank you that's nice.

**Revengent: **Okay, now that we have everything cleared up here we go. The first question of the day is from butch16423 and it's for Chase. What do you think of this song? (Motions to Tony in the electronic booth.)

(A song starts to play, and after a few seconds, Chase tries to protest against it being played. However, no one sees him.)

_Ships crossing like ghosts  
In the night  
Names are remembered  
Faces in sight  
Take what we can and  
Need to survive_

**Chase: **No! Stop!

_Was exchanging kisses  
And you  
Leave me scarred  
Feeling confused_

**Chase:** I'll talk!

_Nanananana-_

(Revengent motions for it to be turned off.)

**House: **Oh my God! Was that Chase?

**Chase:** (Glares at House.) Yes, that's me. I was in a movie when I was younger and the song is called _Sheets of Egyptian Cotton_.

**Foreman: **(Laughing.) Oh...my.

**Revengent: **Hush. I think it's good, and I bet your fangirls do too. RemyTheReaper asked the next two questions. The first is for Chase and Cameron. Would you ever think about getting married? You two would make the most amazingly cute couple. (Smiley face.)

**Chase: **We talked about it but…

**Cameron: **We decided to wait. For now.

**Revengent:** The second question from RemyTheReaper is: if Chase wouldn't marry Cameron, would he marry me?

**Chase: **I will defiantly consider it.

**Random Chase Fangirl from the audience #1:** NOOO! He's supposed to marry me!

**Random Chase Fangirl from the audience #2: **What are you crazy? He and I are meant to be!

**Chase:** It's okay girls, there is plenty of me to go around.

(Cheers.)

**Revengent:** Yay. Anyway…next question. Geml31asks House: Would you like to work with somebody off _Bones_? Why?

**House:** Eh, not really. Bones doesn't know anything about pop culture and she wouldn't understand over half my metaphors. And they work on humans after death, and I prefer to work on the living…you know, the ones that tend to be sick.

**Revengent:** Okay. And Cuddy; what would you do with House if Booth and his partner Bones had to do a murder investigation in PPTH and what would you do if you saw human bones?

**Cuddy:** A murder investigation wouldn't be the first thing that happened at the hospital that was crazy. And seeing human bones wouldn't bother me. I am a doctor after all.

**Revengent:** Right-o. Okay the next set of questions are from cryingblacktears. The first question is for Chase: Where do you get your hair cut?

**Chase: **Oh, it's a nice little place on 88th street called, _Sheer Expressions._ Lydia cuts my hair nicely, don't you think?

**Revengent:** Lovely. The next question is for House: How do you keep the stubble from turning into a proper beard without shaving it all off?

**House:** Carefully, very carefully.

**Revengent: **This one is for the men. Have you ever got your nails manicured? (Be honest - remember the lie detectors.)

**Chase:** Drat.

**House:** No, but I know Wilson has.

**Wilson: **Why would you say that?

**House: **You use a _hair dryer._ Really.

**Wilson: **Okay…once.

**Foreman:** No.

(Everyone looks at Chase.)

**Chase:** Okay fine. I get manicures. But my nails are very neat. (He shows the crowd his nails. They begin clapping.)

**Foreman: **I don't understand…

**Revengent:** Stop complaining. We also have another question for the males. Would you ever straighten your hair?

**Foreman:** (Glares at Revengent and points at his head.) Hello!

**Revengent: **Oh, um…the guys minus Foreman.

**Chase: **(Does his hair flick thing.) I do sometimes.

**House:** No. My hair's not even long enough.

**Wilson: **My hair is naturally straight.

**Revengent:** Okay, the next question is for everybody. If you were on your death bed, what would you tell everyone else (the people here)?

**Cameron: **That I love them.

(Collective "_Awww"_ from the audience.)

**Wilson:** I would remind House that he still owes me a lot of money.

**House: **And I would tell you that I invested it all in a stock that is making millions.

**Wilson: **You did!?

**House: **If I told you now, then it wouldn't be special on my death bed.

**Wilson: **(Mutters.) Loser.

**Foreman:** I would say "the horror, the horror!"

**Revengent: **That's from The Heart of Darkness.

**Foreman: **It is? Who knew?

**Chase: **I would say whatever was on my mind at the current moment.

**Revengent: **Okay, and the last question from cryingblacktears is for Wilson and Chase. Have you ever just got a digital camera and took pictures of yourself?

**Chase: **(Looks at Wilson.) Not together. But yeah, I've done a sexy photo shoot.

**House: **And Wilson has. I mean, look at his Myspace.

**Random audience member #3: **Wilson has a Myspace! Oh my God!

**Wilson: **No I don't. Unless…House?

**House: **Huh?

**Wilson: **Did you make me a Myspace?

**House: **…Possibly.

(Wilson hides his face in his hands.)

**Revengent: **Okay, I'm not really sure what just happened there. Anyways, the next questions are from one of our reviewers that has been there since episode one-

**Foreman: **In Star Wars?

**Revengent:** NO! Episode one of this show. (Points to the banner that hangs over them that says _Ask a Doctor!_) Returning to the question that I was reading before I was so rudely interrupted… RavennaNightwind asks the next few questions. The first one is for Foreman. Does it bother you that no one likes you?

**Foreman: **AH! Why does everyone have to bring that up? Yes, it bothers me, but I don't fret about it.

**Revengent: **It seems like you do. The next question is for Cameron. Have you ever noticed how annoying Chase is all the time?

**Cameron: **What? Chase, annoying? Never.

**Foreman: **Are you kidding?

**Revengent: **(Leans over next to Foreman.) The detectors can sense sarcasm.

**Foreman: **Oh…

**Revengent: **The next question is a follow up question. Chase, why are you so annoying?

**Chase: **I'm not annoying… (Sulks).

**Revengent: **Moving right along… (Looks at card). I swear this was sent it by a reviewer. It's for Wilson, and it says…will you marry Revengent? Please?

**Wilson:** Um… (Looks at Revengent who is batting her eyelashes). I'm just going to tell you what I told the other Fangirl…I'm not ready.

**Revengent:** Okay…but you know…

**Everyone: **We know!

**Revengent:** Okay…on to the next question. House, what is the most annoying thing about each person on this show (including yourself)?

**House:** Okay, I'm going to do this fast. Foreman, you complain too much. Chase, you act like a complete ditz sometimes on here. Cuddy, the same reasons why I think you're annoying any other time. Wilson, you're too nice. Cameron…I don't know, you just are. I don't get enough of the spotlight. Revengent, you have an unhealthy obsession with Wilson.

**Revengent:** I do not… (Coughs). Cuddy we haven't heard anything from you yet today. So here's a question for you. Did you enjoy your kiss with House?

**Cuddy:** Uh…it was unexpected. And wet.

**Foreman: **Ew.

**Revengent: **The next questions are from aradiea. The first question is for Chase. How many Barbie dolls do you have, how many bottles of hair gel do you go through a day and have you ever dated a guy?

**Chase: **I have no Barbie dolls, I go through a bottle of gel in about a week, and no…I've never dated a guy.

**Revengent:** House, the next question is for you. Were you disappointed when she Cameron pulled out the needle? (Referring to The Kiss.) Or could there be another Hameron kiss sometime in the future?

**House:** You guys call it "The Kiss"?

(Hameron shippers nod in the audience.)

**House:** Okay…I was mad that I was tricked. But, I don't think that you guys will get any more Hameron stuff as long as she's with him (points to Chase).

**Revengent:** So it could happen. The next question is for Cameron. Who would you rather "do"? Chase or Abraham Lincoln?

**Cameron:** Oh that's a random question. Well, as everyone already knows, I've already "done" Chase, so I'll pick Abraham Lincoln.

**House:** Ew, you're a necrophiliac.

**Cameron:** No stupid, I'd want him to be alive.

**Revengent:** Honestly House, Cameron as a necrophiliac? Anyways, the next question is for Cuddy. WHO do you have romantic feelings for at PPTH?

**Cuddy:** No one said that they were romantic feelings. And I thought that I didn't have to answer this question.

**House:** Stop being a baby. The rest of us has had to answer all the other questions we've been asked.

**Cuddy:** Fine. There's this guy in accounting I've been dating.

**Foreman:** Really?

**Cuddy:** The alarm didn't go off.

**Revengent:** 'Tis true. So the next question coming up is for Wilson. Can I see you naked?

(Everyone looks at Revengent.)

**Revengent:** No no! I didn't ask that question it was-

**Wilson:** Yeah, I know. Um…this is kind of awkward. No?

**House:** Oh, stop being modest.

**Revengent: **Not to mention that nudity is not allowed on this stage…anyway, now we have a romance question for Foreman. Do you have any romantic feelings for anyone at PPTH?

**Foreman:** No. I try to not date anyone at the hospital so I can avoid the love triangles.

**Revengent: **That's some smart thinking on your part. Our next few questions come from ChasingLupin. The first one is for all of you. The question is: You have a French-English dictionary, a belt, one wool sock, a toque, a light bulb, an accordion, pink and purple suspenders and a plate of butter tarts. What do you do with them combined? Separately?

**House:** I would smash the light bulb with the dictionary, put the shards in the butter tarts, and serve them to people while wearing the other stuff and serenade people with the accordion.

**Revengent: **Remind me never to eat anything House cooks…

**Chase: **I would use the suspenders and the sock as a slingshot and shoot the light bulb at House. While eating butter tarts.

**Cameron:** Why is everyone so violent with their choices? I for one would use the dictionary to learn French, and then play the accordion on the street for money.

**Wilson:** I would wear the suspenders of course.

**Revengent: **Ah, I'm glad you said that Wilson, it brings us to our next question. What on EARTH were you thinking when we see you in season two with both suspenders and a belt?

**Wilson:** …

**Revengent:** And might I add that the suspenders were over-kill. I didn't like them either.

**Wilson:** I guess I just had a wardrobe malfunction…

**Cuddy:** It's okay, everyone has one once and a while (staring at Revengent's raincoat).

**Revengent:** Oh, I get it. Ha ha…Chase, ChasingLupin wants to know if you paint your nails.

**Chase:** No.

(The lie-sensor triggers the alarm. It is promptly turned off.)

**Revengent:** So Chase…

**Chase: **Okay, fine. But only sometimes, and it's clear polish! It makes my hands look clean! (He shows his hands to the crowd again, and they cheer, yet again. Foreman shakes his head.)

**Revengent:** And Cameron, does he steal your nail polish to do it?

**Cameron:** I've been wondering where my polish has been going…

**Revengent:** I guess that answers that question. Cuddy, have you ever considered shooting House with a tranquilizer gun and exiling him to Nunavut?

**Cuddy: **Honestly? All the time.

**House:** I resent that…

**Revengent:** The next question is for all of you. Do you speak any foreign languages?

**House:** Yes. I speak Spanish, Mandarin, French, and Latin.

**Foreman:** (Scoffs.) Show-off.

**Cameron:** I can speak a little Italian. I took it in high school.

**Chase:** I can speak Australian!

**Foreman:** That's not a language! It's still English.

**Chase:** So what? We can't have our own language? Huh?

**Revengent:** Okay, I'm going to stop this before it becomes a bigger problem. House, the next question is for you. Why is it that your level of stubble never changes whilst you seem to get a lower and lower hairline, and more hair, every season?

**House: **Well, it's a secret about the stubble. If I told, all these guys would have it too (points to Chase, Foreman and Wilson). As for my hairline and amount of hair, how did you even notice that?

**Wilson:** (Coughs). Rogaine.

**House:** What?

**Wilson:** Nothing.

**House:** That's what I thought.

**Revengent:** Foreman, ChasingLupin wants me to inform you that she is a Fangirl of you, but she doesn't like it when you're mean to Chase.

**Foreman:** I have a Fangirl! (Screams.) Yay!

**Revengent:** Foreman, not only do you have a Fangirl, but you also have the next question. Do House's vaguely xenophobic comments bother you?

**Foreman:** Nothing can bother me now that I have a Fangirl. All is right in the world.

**Revengent:** Okay…um, the next question is for Chase, Wilson and Foreman. Does it bother you when House makes insulting comments about your race, religion, sexuality or country?

**Wilson:** I tend to ignore it. It's expected from House.

**Chase: **I've learned to ignore it. But I still don't like it.

**Foreman:** Nothing can bother me now that I have-

**Revengent:** Shut up! (Everyone jumps in their seat.) Sorry.

**Foreman:** (Who has snapped out his trance.) Uh, yeah. I don't like it when House makes jokes about my race.

**Revengent:** Thank you. Cameron, does the amount of Fangirls and unrequited crushes that your boyfriend has make you feel threatened?

**Cameron:** I'm not worried. I know that Chase would never act on any of… (Her voice trails off as she sees Chase holding up a sign with his phone number on it to the audience).

**Revengent:** Ahem!

(Chase quickly catches on and hides the sign.)

**Foreman:** Right…

**Revengent:** While Chase and Cameron work on that, we have a question for Cuddy. Why do you seem to be the only person on the show without fidelity, drug, alcohol, or daddy issues?

**Cuddy: **Because I keep my life out of my work. And I'm so glad that I do.

**Revengent:** Okay, the next question is for House. How are your plans for World Domination going?

**House:** Shh! No one's supposed to know about that yet! (Looks around nervously.)

**Revengent:** Oh, okay. This next one is for all. Who's your favorite band?

**House:** The Rolling Stones.

**Cuddy:** The Beatles.

**Wilson:** ABBA. Yeah…

**Chase: **The Scientists.

**Cameron:** Aerosmith.

**Foreman: **Hannah Montana!

(Foreman receives a bunch of odd looks.)

**Foreman:** I mean Flobots.

**Revengent:** Sure. The next question has a similar theme. Who's your favorite boy band?

**House:** Hanson…I guess.

**Chase: **NSYNC.

**Cameron: **NO! The Backstreet Boys!

**Chase:** NSYNC!

**Cameron: **Backstreet Boys!

**Cuddy:** Fall Out Boy!

**Chase: **NSYNC!

**Wilson:** Is ABBA considered a boy band?

**Revengent:** (Sighs at the fight between the doctors.) Sure, why not?

**Foreman:** The Jackson Five.

(Everyone stops yelling, except for Cameron who just yelled "Backstreet Boys!" She realizes this too late.)

**Cameron:** Oh…

**Revengent:** Now that you all have that out of you…Chase, you are you ready?

**Chase:** Um, sure.

**Revengent:** Good. The next question asks if you can sing the Australian National Anthem for us.

**Chase:** Of course I will.

(The lights fade as an Australian flag is lowered and a spotlight focuses on Chase, who is now standing, and the flag. Chase clears his throat and begins to sing.)

_Australians all let us rejoice,_

_For we are young and free;_

_We've golden soil and wealth for toil;_

_Our home is girt by sea;_

_Our land abounds in nature's gifts_

_Of beauty rich and rare;_

_In history's page, let every stage_

_Advance Australia Fair._

_In joyful strains then let us sing,_

_Advance Australia Fair._

_Beneath our radiant Southern Cross_

_We'll toil with hearts and hands;_

_To make this Commonwealth of ours_

_Renowned of all the lands;_

_For those who've come across the seas_

_We've boundless plains to share;_

_With courage let us all combine_

_To Advance Australia Fair._

_In joyful strains then let us sing,_

_Advance Australia Fair._

(Chase sits down to tremendous applause and wipes a stray tear from his cheek. The lights return to normal.)

**Revengent: **That was…wonderful. There's another question for you here. It says; I know that you're not really a believer anymore, but you still take notice of Saint's days? For example, the Ascension of the Virgin Mary.

**Chase: **No.

**Revengent: **That was short and sweet. The last question from ChasingLupin is for Wilson. How do you stand it?

**Wilson:** Stand what?

**House: **I believe she is referencing you having to deal with Revengent's obsession with you.

**Cuddy: **I think it was referencing to having to deal with you, House.

**Wilson:** Well, whatever it means, I'm dealing with it…just fine.

**Revengent: **Okay…the next set of questions is from renesmee carlie cullen xx, and the first question is for all of you. Do believe in Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster?

**Cuddy: **Um, no.

**Wilson:** Me neither.

**Cameron:** I like remain open-minded.

**Chase:** I swear that once when I was on vacation, I saw Bigfoot in the mountains.

**House:** No. Bigfoot is Foreman's neighbor.

**Foreman: **He is? I always thought Charles was a little too hairy…

**House: **No…never mind. This way is funnier.

**Revengent:** The next question is for Foreman only. Why don't you get a wig?

**Foreman:** What? I thought chicks like bald men. (Runs his hands over his head.)

**Chase:** I can see you with an afro.

**Foreman:** No way.

**Revengent:** Okay, the next question is for Cuddy. Why are you in such denial about being in love with House?

**Cuddy:** I'm not in love with House. (She waits to see if any alarms go off. They don't.) If anything, House is the one in denial.

**House:** What-

**Revengent:** Okay, save that for another time. Let's try to get moving a little quicker. Notlupus asks the next few questions, and the first one is for Cameron. Why is it that every season you have a different hair color?

**Cameron:** I just like to be different. Next season I was thinking about my hair being red? What do you think?

**Revengent:** …No comment. The next question is for House. Why didn't you amputate your leg?

**House:** The same reason why you wouldn't want to amputate your leg. I wanted to keep it (He rubs he thigh).

**Revengent:** Reasonable. The next question is for all of you. Notlupus asks: How would you react if a random stranger (presumably me) jumped out of your closet?

**House:** And that is why I don't have a closet, so random people won't jump out at me.

**Cameron:** I would probably have a heart attack.

**Cuddy:** Me too.

**Wilson:** Why are people jumping out of closets? I'm confused.

**Revengent:** It's okay.

**Foreman:** I would use my pepper spray on them!

**Chase:** But what if they're friendly? I would ask them to lunch.

**Revengent:** Why that's nice of you. The next questions are from, One Shot Glory, and the first one is for Cameron. Is Cameron your maiden name, or your late husband's name?

**Cameron:** Cameron is late my husband's name. Just because he died doesn't mean that I have to forget about him.

**Revengent:** Okay, the next question is for House. How much do you think the way your father treated you affects you today?

**House:** (Clearly uncomfortable with the personal question.) Well, I do think he shaped me into what I am today. I think that's where I get my sarcasm, because I had to grow up with him.

**Revengent:** So I see. And here's a question for Chase. After your mother died, did you live by yourself or with your father?

**Chase:** I lived with my father, but as soon as I was old enough I moved out.

**Revengent:** Good okay…the next few questions come from Indigo.infusion. First, she wants House to know that she really, really likes you and wants to marry you, but that's not her question.

**House:** Who doesn't want to marry me?

**Revengent:** (Continuing) …she asks if you will ever forgive Stacy for your leg.

(The crowd hisses and boos when Stacy's name is mentioned.)

**Revengent:** And are you ever going to admit that you like Cameron?

**House:** No. To both questions.

**Revengent:** So you do like Cameron?

**House:** Why would I need to admit that I like her unless I needed a reason to say that I did in fact like when I didn't or do or don't?

**Revengent: **Oh, that's confusing.

**House:** It was supposed to be. It keeps people guessing.

**Revengent:** Okay, the next question is for Chase. (Reads from the card in her hand.) Do you get annoyed with being called British? Because a lot fics I read, House calls you British and it annoys you why?

**Chase:** Of course it annoys me. I'M AUSTRALIAN!

(Everyone backs away from Chase who just roared his nationality to the whole studio.)

**Revengent:** Now that we all know that Chase is from England-

**Chase:** AUSTRALIA! THE LAND DOWN UNDER!

**Revengent:** Okay! I was just kidding. Geez…the next question/statement is for Cameron. Why did you dye your hair blonde? It was nicer brown.

**Cameron:** Like I said before, I wanted change. It was better brown?

**Revengent:** Yes. Okay, the next question is for House. Why did you employ a Cameron-look-a-like (Thirteen)?

**House:** She looks like Cameron? I didn't even notice.

**Revengent:** It must have been subconscious.

**Wilson: **I agree.

**Revengent:** The next question is for Cameron and House. Cameron, do you miss working for House. House, do you miss Cameron?

**House:** Na, I still see her every day.

**Cameron:** Both yes and no. I miss the cases that we got to work on and I miss the environment, but I do like my new job a lot.

**Revengent:** The next question is for Cuddy and Wilson. Will you ever go out, like on a date?

**Cuddy: **Do you mean together?

**Wilson:** If yes, then we already did.

**Revengent:** Guess what!

**Foreman:** We're done!

**Revengent:** Nope! We have another proposal! This time it's for House, and Indigo.infusion wants to marry him. (Uses her game show host voice) Indie is British, has red hair, green eyes, is kind of on the tall side, wants to be a doctor, loves art, and totally would date him! What do you say House?

**House:** (Whispers) Call me. Maybe we can work something out. (Winks)

**Revengent: **You can do that on your own time, not mine. The next few questions are from Amayasora. The first one is for House. You're on the Internet a lot. Do you ever read Fanfictions and if so, what do you think about them?

**House:** I've read them. Revengent's are pretty good, even though in one we all get kidnapped…some other people's fics are good too, but I don't want to list them. But some do get kind of weird, and some I can't even read because people don't know how to spell. And when I become an out-of-character, lovey-dovey sap, that's just wrong.

**Revengent:** Thanks for the complement. Does anyone else read and have opinions of fics?

**Chase:** I like ones that focus around me.

**Foreman:** There is not that many about me! And none focus on me!

**Revengent: **I'll tell you what. When I have time, I'll write a Fanfic, just for you Foreman.

**Foreman:** Yay!

**Revengent:** Okay, Chase. Have you gotten any better at "your mama" jokes?

**Chase:** What are you talking about? I was always good! (Pops his collar) Yo mama's so fat she has two zip codes!

**Revengent:** Case closed. And now we have a question for everyone. How do you feel about ALL the different pairings people have for you guys? Does it get annoying or flattering?

**Wilson: **It makes it hard to keep track with who is supposed to be with who.

**House:** It makes me feel like a pimp!

**Chase:** Me too! (Attempts to give House a high-five, but House declines his offer.)

**Cameron:** I think it's flattering.

**Foreman: **(Hopeful) People 'ship me?

**Cuddy: **I don't really care.

**Revengent: **Okay, the last few questions are from silly004. House, why are you obsessed with Chase's hair?

**House: **It's just so silky…he must use tons of conditioner.

**Chase:** Pantene Pro-V.

**Revengent:** Me too! (Flicks her hair around, but does not receive the same effect as Chase's hair flick.) Anyway, the next question is for all of you. Do you play any musical instruments?

**House:** The piano and the guitar.

**Cameron: **I can kind of play the cello, but not that well.

**Revengent:** Anyone else? (They shake their heads.) Okay, this is another one for all of you. What jobs did you have before you became a doctor?

**Chase:** I didn't have to have a job.

**House:** We all know that Foreman was a car thief.

**Foreman:** Actually, I worked at McDonalds.

**Cameron: **I worked at Long John Silver's.

**Wilson:** I worked at a bookstore.

**House: **I was a drug-dealer.

**Revengent:** Really, or is that sarcasm?

**House:** If you must know, I worked at a movie theater.

**Revengent: **That's more like it. And now, we have a question for Chase. How old were you when you finished college?

**Chase:** I finished graduate school at age twenty-five.

**Revengent:** Guess what!

**Foreman:** (Mutters) another proposal?

**Revengent: **No, we're done! (Confetti flows down from the ceiling.) This is the longest episode yet!

**House:** Hooray! Just how I wanted to spend my day.

**Revengent:** Well, that's it for now. Remember to review and ask a question, and tune in next time to see what the answer is! Have a nice day and remember to not play in traffic!

**House: **That has to be the lamest sign-off ever.

**Revengent: **Shut-up!

(The lights fade as the audience, doctors and Revengent plays in the confetti)

**Yes, Jesse Spencer did sing a song (Not Chase). Just google it and it comes up. The quote that Foreman said ("The horror, the horror.") was from a book by Joseph Conrad. Yes, I mentioned myspace, am I happy about it? Not really. Heh...Star Wars. My fandoms are mixing. Chase's favorite band, The Scientists, are Aussie. I hope that's the Australian National Anthem, I just googled for it and used what came up.**

**And I think I will write a Foreman fic, humor of course. Thoughts? **


	6. Episode 6

****

So here is another chapter, breaking 4,000 as well. :) But I did it! I wrote the Foreman fic! (Advertising...yeah) It's called _Foreman's Day_, and if I do say so myself, it's pretty freaking funny. And there is an allusion in here to it...you'll get it if you read it. But as always...you know what to do :D

* * *

(The usual theme song plays as Revengent and the doctors walk on to the stage. Chase stays behind to chat with some of the members of the crowd, but Cameron drags him to his seat. After everyone is seated, Revengent motions for the music to stop.)

**Revengent:** Welcome to the sixth episode of _Ask a Doctor! _I'm your host, Revengent and I am here to be the one that asks the things that you want to know. Let's not waste any time and go on with the show. The first questions were sent in by Random Dice, and the questions are for Cuddy. If House ever offered sperm to make a child between you two, would you take it? And if you do, do you think that it would bring you two closer together?

**Cuddy:** This isn't awkward at all…

**House:** I think it's more awkward for me. I'd be the one offering the seed.

**Cuddy: **(Clears her throat.) I think that I would take it. He's a friend of mine, and I wouldn't mind having a kid with his DNA. I hope the kid wouldn't get the gene for arrogance though…and of course it would bring us closer together. The two parts of us would have made a whole.

**Revengent:** Okay, that was a good starter question. The next set of questions is from SoNotEmo. The first one is for House; seriously, why was it that on the date you avoided the question? Cameron wanted to know how you felt about her, and all you did was explain why you thought she liked you. You're an idiot! But, really, why did you avoid the question?

**House:** Oh no…I was hoping nobody would mention this. (Sighs and squirms in his seat.) Cameron was trying to pry into my personal life and I didn't like that. You know that now, don't you?

**Cameron: **Yes.

**House:** I avoided it, because I didn't want to talk about it. Simple.

**Revengent:** Okay…yay! A question for me! Revengent, what's with you and Wilson… (Looks at Wilson.) There's nothing going on. Honest!

**House: **(Scoffs.) You wish.

**Wilson:** No, it's the truth! It's just a host-guest relationship.

**Revengent:** See? (Blushing) Okay, the next question is…more of a statement. Foreman, just because everyone isn't jumping up and down with a sign doesn't mean we don't love you. You're vital, in your own neurologist sort of way.

**Foreman:** Really? I'm…vital?

**Revengent:** (Nods.) And look, I even have a section over there for some-what Foreman fans.

(She points to a small area in the corner that has a few people in it. They have banner across their laps that says "Foreman!" in big, capital letters. When they see they are being looked at, they stand up and hold up the banner, although it is upside down.)

**Foreman:** Thanks…that means a lot to me.

**The Foreman "fans": **Foreman!

**Revengent:** You're welcome. The next question is for everyone's favorite wombat Chase. What the heck is your specialty? I don't really get it at all.

**Chase:** My specialty is Intensive Care Medicine. Mostly I would treat people that live on life support, etcetera.

**Revengent:** Now that we have that cleared up, let's move on. Next we have a question for Cameron; do you accept dares? If so, I dare you to kiss House right now!

(Gives the card to Cameron.)

**Revengent: **This is for proof. Dare's aren't really in the protocol, but it's okay this time.

**Cameron: **Um…I don't do dares.

(Her lie-detector sets of the alarm. Over the chanting of "Lie! Lie! Lie!" you can see Cameron look stressed. Revengent motions for the alarm to be turned off.)

**Foreman:** Everyone knows you accept dares! Why lie about it?

**Chase:** Yeah, remember that one time at the petting zoo…with the llama-

**Cameron:** Okay, okay. I accept dares. So, I guess I can't really back away from this one…

(She starts to walk over to House. Chase, who should be concerned that his girl friend his going to kiss their old boss, for some reason doesn't seem to notice what's happening. Maybe he's thinking about the petting zoo incident. Cameron looks at House, and he stares back at her.)

**House:** It's not like you haven't kissed me before.

(Cameron sighs and kisses House on the lips. Hameron fans go crazy and Chase suddenly seems to realize what she's doing. After a few seconds, they part, and Cameron goes back to her seat.)

**Chase: **What!?

**Cameron:** I was dared! I had to!

**House:** And I wasn't going to decline.

**Chase:** But…

**Revengent:** Sorry Chase, we don't have time for you to complain, because you have a question. Why on Earth did you see it fitting to ask if Cameron slept with House in front of the new team?

**Chase:** Because…I wanted to know. And I wanted to know right then…

**Revengent: **Uh-huh. Okay the next question is for Cuddy. Why did you give House your underwear in college? Seriously, why?

**Cuddy: **He helped me with an essay. And it was the only way I could get him to notice me…

**House: **Trust me. I noticed you. (He sticks out his chest, obviously mocking Cuddy.)

**Revengent:** Okay, that's enough of that. The next question is for you House.

**House:** Oh goody.

**Revengent: **It's a long one so here it goes (Takes a deep breath and reads from card): House, honestly, didn't you have a great time at your "not-date" with Cameron? Why couldn't you let them happen again the second time around? And why the heck did a fancy restaurant seem like the right choice for your date? You could have taken her to some little, simple place and dealt with each other peacefully, but no, you go to Café Spletto and ruin everything. Okay, um, there's a question in that rant somewhere.

**House: **Uh…that's a lot to answer.

**Revengent:** Do it!

**House: **Okay, calm down. Don't get your panties in a wrinkle. Yes, I did have a good time on my "not-date" with Cameron, but it was Monster Trucks! Who wouldn't have a good time? One the second time around I took her to something that _she _wanted, and Wilson over there suggested the restaurant. He probably took his ex-wives there.

**Revengent:** I think that answers everything for you House. The last question from NotSoEmo is for Cameron. If one day you came into work and a sixteen year old girl was sitting there claiming he was her father, what would you do?

**Cameron: **Well, I'd be shocked. But if she wanted to meet him, I would trick House into meeting her.

**House: **Just to let everyone know, I do not have any kids floating around out there. I think…

**Revengent: **That's good to know…I guess. If you don't, the major plot for many Fanfictions would be gone. Um, our next set of questions is from cryingblacktears, and the first question is for everybody? Would you consider going on a reality TV show (Like Big Brother)?

**Foreman:** Isn't this almost like the same thing?

**Revengent: **No, not really.

**Foreman: **Oh. My answer would still be no. I'm forced on here beyond my will.

**Chase:** Who's Big Brother?

**House: **You don't know Chase? The Thought Police are following you!

**Chase:** Ah! They're going to probe my brain!

**Wilson: **I wouldn't mind as long as House wasn't on the show.

**Cuddy: **I agree. I think I'm cunning enough to get far.

**Cameron: **I don't think I would. I'm too nice.

**House: **You think? I would love to go on a reality TV show.

**Revengent: **Okay, the next question is for all of you as well. If you could pick your own name, what would you choose?

**House: **Anaconda.

**Wilson: **That's rather provocative. I would keep James as my first name, and change Wilson to Bond.

**Revengent: **Oh, like James Bond!

**Wilson:** Right…

**Cameron:** I think the name Rose is nice. And then I can be like Madonna and Cher and go by one name.

**Foreman:** I like the name Bob. It's simple, yet unique.

**Chase:** I can see myself as a William.

**House: **I think of Chase and Foreman as more of a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

**Foreman:** What kind of names are those?

**Revengent:** They are the names of two characters from _Hamlet!_ You know, the ones that are pushovers? (Crickets chirp.) Doesn't anybody read?

**Cuddy: **Revengent, calm down.

**Revengent:** Right. Okay the next question is for Wilson. Are you ever going to date again?

**Wilson:** Um, I guess. Eventually.

**Revengent:** Oh really? (Moves in closer to Wilson but gets smacked by House before Wilson can notice.) Just kidding. House, the next question is for you. Have you ever scared a patient into hysterics?

**House:** The question isn't if I have, it's how many I have scared a patient into hysterics.

**Revengent: **I guess that answers our question. Our next question is for everyone's, um, favorite neurologist. Foreman, does it bother you that House hired you only because you were a car thief?

**Foreman: **Of course it bothers me. Now that it's been brought up again, House I want to tell you that-

**Revengent: **Save that for after the show. Now we have the last question from cryingblacktears, and it's for House, Chase, and Wilson. Will you come to my party?

**House: **Will there be alcohol? Na, I'll bring my own.

**Wilson: **Sure. I love parties.

**Chase: **Me too. (Throws confetti.)

**Forman:** Why didn't I get an invite?

**Cameron: **Cuddy and I didn't get invited either Foreman.

**Foreman:** Yeah, but I'm the only guy that didn't get invited. Man…this sucks.

**Revengent: **Sorry Foreman. Housefrk asked the next few questions. The first one is both for Foreman and Cameron, so you can stop sulking Foreman. Out of the two of you, who is Thirteen more like?

**Foreman:** They look alike.

**Cameron: **They act alike.

(They both look at each other.)

**Foreman and Cameron:** I do not!

**Revengent:** So you're equally like Thirteen? I guess that's okay. Okay, the next question is for everyone. What TV shows do you watch?

**House:** General Hospital!

**Cuddy:** I don't ever have time to watch TV…

**Cameron:** I watch Soap Operas. And Chase watches them with me. Isn't that right?

**Chase:** Unfortunately…

**Wilson:** My favorite TV show is Friends.

**Foreman:** I like That 70's Show! They named a character on there after me.

**Revengent: **Yeah…right…just keep thinking that. Foreman, you have a question all for yourself!

**Foreman:** Oh goody!

**Revengent: **Do you like or dislike working with the new team? Which fellows would you have kept? Pick three.

**Foreman: **Hmm…I think that Amber was good, and so was Cole. As for the third, it would be none other than me!

**Revengent: **Of course. The next few questions were sent in by Esoteric Cryptogram. First off, she House to know that they want to marry him.

**House:** I'm flattered as always. (Turns to Foreman.) That's how many proposals for me? And how many have you had? None? That's what I thought.

**Foreman: **I hate you.

**Revengent:** Anyway, the first one is for House and Cuddy. What do you think "your" song would be? (You each can choose one.)

**Cuddy:** Why would we need a song? We are not-

**Revengent: **JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!

(Everybody looks nervously at Revengent, due to her most recent outbreak. Cuddy sighs and answers the question because she doesn't want to anger the host even more.)

**Cuddy:** If, I say _if_ we indeed needed a song, it would have to be "One Week" by The Barenaked Ladies.

**House: **That's what I was thinking! (He gives Cuddy a high-five.)

**Revengent: **Okay, the next question is for House. Who is your favorite new Duckling?

**House:** Thirteen. She's surrounded in mystery. Plus she's hot.

**Wilson:** She looks like Cameron.

**House: **No she doesn't.

(Everybody rolls their eyes, ignoring House's ignorance at the matter.)

**Revengent:** Okay, the next question is for Wilson. When you were dating Amber, did you think that you were dating House?

**Wilson:** Oh God no! I tried not to think about their similarities after House had so brilliantly brought up the topic.

**House: **I'm sorry. I thought that it was funny.

**Wilson: **Yeah. Freaking hilarious.

**Revengent: **Now we have a question for all the guys. If you were gay which male celebrity would you go out with?

(All the guys look around at each other, waiting for another person to answer before them. However, none of them offer to go first, so they sit there looking stupid.)

**Revengent:** Oh goodness gracious great balls of fire…Foreman, go first.

**Foreman:** Why do I have to go first?

**Revengent:** Because I don't really like you. Go!

**Foreman:** Okay, okay…Sir Mix-a-Lot.

**Chase: **Is that the best you got? Orlando Bloom!

**Wilson: **Psh, who are you kidding? How about George Clooney?

**House:** Dude, no way. Simon Cowell.

**Revengent:** That would be way too much sarcasm is that relationship.

**House: **(Shrugs.) You said _if_ I was gay. I'm not, so it doesn't really matter.

**Revengent:** Whatever. Girls, same question reversed.

**Cameron: **Céline Dion. I think she's so pretty.

**Cuddy: **I think I'm going to go with Tyra Banks.

**Revengent: **Here's a question that House will enjoy. What is your favorite body part of Cuddy and Cameron?

(Cameron blushes and Cuddy hides her face in her hands. House sits up in his seat and rubs his hands together.)

**House:** Yes! Okay, well, with Cuddy it's obvious – her chest. And dang! Cameron has the best legs.

(All the other guys crane their necks to see the body parts of Cameron and Cuddy that House mentioned. The girls try to melt into the seat. However, they could not turn into particles and diffuse into the chair.)

**Revengent:** (Looking off into space. House punches him on the arm to make Revengent come back down to Earth.) Oh right! Um… (Looks at the note card in her hand) This is for you Foreman. Who's hotter, Cuddy or Cameron?

**Foreman: **(Looks nervously at his boss, Cuddy, and then to his "friend" Cameron. Worried what the other woman might do if he didn't pick her, he began to sweat and hyperventilate.) I don't know…um…uh…

**Cameron:** Foreman…

(Revengent hands Foreman a brown paper bag. He breaths into it, calming his breathing but not much else.)

**Cuddy: **Ahem.

**Foreman:** (Looks back and forth again. He wipes sweat off of his head and looks really ill.) Cuddy, I choose you!

**Cuddy:** (Smiles.) It sounds better coming from you than from House.

**Cameron:** Oh well…I'm still hot. (Flicks her hair.)

**Revengent: **Righto. Our next question is well…interesting. That's all I can say. (Coughs.) It's for everyone. Favorite position? And don't forget, K+! (She kind of screamed the last part.)

**Chase: **Yeah, yeah, we know. Okay…on top?

**Cameron:** Meaning I get stuck on the bottom.

**Revengent:** Ambiguous enough. Others?

**Foreman:** What are we talking about?

**Revengent: **I'm not going to explain. Ask Chase later.

**Chase:** No way! Why do I have be the one to tell him?

**Revengent: **Because.

**Cuddy:** Since I _have_ to answer this, I'll say…missionary?

**Wilson:** Me too.

**House:** Ah, you guys aren't creative. Okay listen; first you have to get a chair, but not just any chair. It has to be a rolley chair. Then there is also a Velcro, a lampshade and onion ring involved. Okay first the guy sits in the chair, sticks the soft part of the Velcro to himself, and sticks the other part to the chick. Then with the lampshade, you-

**Revengent: **That's quite okay. I get the idea.

**House: **But I didn't even get to say what you do with the onion rings!

**Revengent:** I don't think I want to know. (She shakes her head.) Okay, the next question is for the girls. What are five turn ons, and five turn offs?

**Cuddy:** My turn ons are intelligence, a good sense of humor, smells nice, good with kids and someone that can be dominated. My turn offs are…lack of a sense of humor, lack of goals, pessimism, self-centeredness and lack of trust.

**Cameron:** I like someone that has a sensitive side, blue eyes, someone that can share their feelings, someone that I can joke around with, and someone that remembers my birthday.

**Chase:** I'm sorry I forgot. Would you stop bothering me about that?

**Cameron: **(Ignoring Chase.) My turn offs are _forgetting my birthday,_ dirty socks, someone that tries to sexy and they are not, jealousy and war.

**Revengent: **Yuck. Dirty socks. Okay, this time it is the guy's turn. Five turn ons and five turn offs?

**Chase: **My turn offs is someone that complains, shallow people, people that brag too much, girls that think they're so awesome and someone that complains when I forget their birthday! (He says this while glaring at Cameron.) And my turn ons are someone that is sweet, not afraid to be a little wild, blond hair, straight teeth and nice booty.

**Foreman: **Before your lover's quell starts, I'll go. I have only one turn off: if they hate me. And I have only one turn on: if they like me.

**Revengent:** Right…

**Wilson:** Let's see…I like a women that is faithful, not afraid to take control, nice eyes, um…long legs and someone with confidence. I don't like women that cheat, lie or complain and I don't like women that don't take care of themselves. Or die.

**Revengent:** Well…I am very much alive. Ha ha…

**House: **Okay, I don't like morons or idiots, of women that think that are smarter than me…because nobody is smarter than me. And my turn ons are a nice rack, women that will-

**Revengent:** Okay…I'm going to stop that disaster before it starts. Okay, the next question is for everybody. What is your greatest fear?

**Chase: **That one day I will wake up and all my lovely hair will be gone!

**Cameron:** My greatest fear is that everyone that I care about will die.

**Cuddy:** My worst fear is that one day House will blow up the hospital or something like that.

**House: **That's a great idea!

**Cuddy:** Oh no…

**Wilson: **I fear that I will never find the right person.

**Foreman:** That I will never have fans!

**House: **My worst fear? That everybody in the world will turn into a moron.

**Revengent:** Yeah House, that would be rather scary. (Rolls eyes.) Okay, on a lighter note, what is everybody greatest dream?

**Foreman:** That I will be cherished and people will chant my name and hold a parade in my honor!

**Revengent:** O-kay….

**House:** My greatest dream? Never having to work in the clinic again.

**Cuddy:** I would want to have a child.

**Chase:** I want to be popular and for everyone to know my name.

**Cameron:** My greatest dream is that one day women won't be looked down upon.

**Revengent:** I agree! Tell me about it (high-fives Cameron).

**Wilson:** My dream is that House will stop being so miserable.

**House: **Oh thanks Jimmy.

**Revengent: **Okay, the next question is for everyone. Have any of you ever had a sexual fantasy involving the original cast or the cast in the fourth season? If so, who and did you enjoy it?

**Chase:** Well, I think it is okay to say I had one about Cameron.

**House:** And I have had one about all the females.

**Cuddy:** Oh my God…

**House:** Admit it; you have had one about me. (He looks as sultry as possible.)

**Cuddy:** Maybe a long time ago!

**House:** Ha! I knew it. You want me.

**Cuddy: **(Sighs.)

**Cameron:** And I guess everybody can guess who I had one about…

**Foreman:** CoughHousecough.

**Cameron:** Yeah.

(Chase was fortunately distracted at the time. Revengent was showing him a butterfly that had somehow got into the studio.)

**Revengent:** We're done? Okay the last question from Esoteric Cryptogram is for Cuddy. You still consider adopting me despite my somewhat questionable attraction to her? (I don't want her, I want to be her.)

**Cuddy:** Someone wants to be me? That's flattering. Sure, why not? I'll adopt you.

**Revengent: **Okay, our next questions are from notlupus. The first few are for House. What's your best clinic patient?

**House: **Oh wow. There are too many to name. But one of my favorites is the kid that had a MP3 player shoved up his butt.

**Revengent:** Yeah, that was funny. The next question for you is: have you ever got requests to be interviewed by people or news stations? Like Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres, 60 minutes or Jay Leno?

**House:** I have got some requests.

**Revengent: **So that brings us to our next question. Why don't you answer any of them? Or are you just too camera scared? (That's right, it's a dare.)

**House:** Hey, doesn't this show count? I'm being interviewed now!

**Revengent:** True. But if you had to choose between any of the interviews then who would you choose?

**House: **Hmm…perhaps Ellen. She's cool.

**Revengent:** You're right. Anyway, here is the last question from notlupus and it is for all of you. Have any of you ever beaten the impossible quiz?

**Chase:** What's that?

**House:** I beat since I am so smart!

**Foreman:** I didn't beat it…I can't get past question 48…

**Revengent:** Eh…okay. The next few questions are from All-I-Need. The first few are for Cameron. If you hadnt had that needle with you when you kissed House, would you still have kissed him? Did you consider coming back without the needle to get a sperm sample? And would you jump House if you got the chance?

**Cameron:** Uh…I probably wouldn't have kissed House at that moment. Did I consider going back to get a sperm sample? That would be hard to obtain.

**House:** Hey!

**Cameron:** Just kidding. And would I jump House if I had the chance? Um…I know I can't lie so…yes I would.

**Chase: **I can't believe this!

**Revengent:** The next question is for you House. Did you enjoy punching Chase? Would you do it again please?

**House:** I loved punching that little wombat. Sure, I'll do it again. (House walks over to Chase. Chase tries to cover his face, but House is still able to punch Chase in the face.)

**Chase:** NO! Not my beautiful face!

**Revengent:** And it can only get better Chase. The next couple of questions are for you. Do you have a picture showing how your jaw looked after House punched you? Can you send it to me so I can frame it and put it over my bed? And just in case you didn't notice: I am NOT a fangirl of yours. Just so you don't get arrogant.

(Revengent lets a low whistle.) Burn.

**Chase:** I took a picture as evidence. No I will not send it to you so you can gloat! (Stops and thinks for a second.) But maybe you want my picture, because you are a fan of mine and you just don't want to admit it.

**Foreman:** Dude, didn't you just hear what she said? She clearly stated that she's not a fangirl of yours.

**Chase:** (Sulks.)

**Revengent:** Okay and the last question from All-I-Need is for House. She says: I think you are the sexiest guy walking on this planet and I love your sarcasm. Will you marry me? I got lots of lollipops, by the way...

**House:** Lollipops! By all means, bring on the wedding!

(Wilson slaps House.)

**House: **Oh, right. Sorry, I can't get married to any fans. It would be unethical.

**Revengent:** Whatever. The next question is from i panicked at your disco, and it is for Chase. Honestly man, I love you and all, but why…why must you wear a wig?

**Chase:** I don't wear a wig! This is my natural mane! (Shoves his head in Revengent face.) Tell everyone that it's real!

**Revengent:** (Tries to back away from Chase.) It's real! Okay, happy?

**Chase:** Very.

**Revengent:** Okay…the last set of questions is from Indigo.infusion. First off, she wants Foreman to know that she is a fan, but she is not in love with him.

**Foreman:** Figures.

**Revengent:** She also sends her love to House.

**House:** Love taken.

**Revengent:** Okay, on with the questions…the first few are for House. Do you like Star Wars and Harry Potter (movies and books)?

**House:** Yeah, I like both. I saw the movies and I have read the Harry Potter books. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

**Revengent:** Okay, here are two more questions for you. Do you read a lot? And do like dark materials?

**House:** I don't really have time to read a lot; I'm always busy doing something else. And yes, I love dark materials. Who doesn't?

**Revengent:** I'm sure there are some people…okay and here is our last question, and it's for everyone. Why does everyone hate Stacy? I don't like her, but this world doesn't need more hate, does it?

**Chase: **She's got a point.

**House:** No! Stacy is a double-crossing, live-sucking whore!

**Revengent:** I guess that answers my question. Well…that's it.

**Cameron:** Really? It went by fast.

**Revengent:** It sure did. Anyway, remember to review and ask something that you want to know about these crazy people-

**Foreman:** I resent that!

**Revengent: **That's it until next time! And remember; never look a gift horse in the mouth!

(The theme song plays as the lights fade and people in the audience cheer.)

* * *

**Yeah a lot of Chase-bashing...I got tired of Foreman bashing. Ho-hum.**

**There is such thing as the Impossible Quiz. Just google it. It gets quite addicting. ;)**

**Anyways, review please!**

**Revengent**


	7. Episode 7

**Hi! No, I didn't forget about this fic. I'm sorry, real life stinks and this fic takes a long time to write. But never fear, I am here! Okay, hope you enjoy, this is the longest chapter ever (over 7,000 words!) Some questions I didn't answers, because they were no longer relavent (like if House was okay after the season 4 finale) or they are duplicates or similar. Or maybe I just wanted to save them. :) If that is the case, I will get to them. But anyways, thanks for sticking with me if you're coming back and welcome if you're a new reader! (End of obnoxiously long author's note.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own House, or any other television show mentioned.**

* * *

(The theme song plays as the doctors walk onto the stage. The doctors chat with members of the crowd, but security pushes them away, shooing them to their seats. Then Revengent walks onto the stage and all the cheering stops and the crowd begins to throw things at the host.)

**Revengent:** Hey! Let me sit down! (Runs to her seat as the crowd continues booing at her.) I'm so sorry that there has been such a huge delay in the update!

**Foreman:** Sure you are.

**Revengent: **I am! I got transferred to other shows, and then they (points to the doctors) were busy with their other show.

**Chase:** What other show?

(Revengent looks around nervously and ignores Chase's question.)

**Revengent: **But, I am sorry. I have freshly baked cookies for everyone though as a gift as an apology!

(Crowd cheers.)

**Revengent:** Right. (Picks egg out of her hair that was thrown at her earlier.) So let's get started. Welcome to the seventh episode of _Ask a Doctor! _We now don't only have these (points to the doctors on stage) lovely people, but we also have the "new" team in the crowd. Say hi to them!

(Everyone looks to the first row. Taub, Thirteen and Kutner sit together, looking rather nervous. Kutner waves and Thirteen swats at his hand. Taub rolls his eyes.)

**Revengent:** In the next episode, they will be available for questioning, and they are extremely excited.

**Taub: **Sure…if you say so.

**Kutner:** We are…wait. How did we get here?

**Revengent:** (Laughs nervously.) So let's get started!

**House:** Yippy.

**Revengent:** You're darn-tootin' right, this is exciting. Okay, let's not waste any time because I'm swimming in questions over here. The first batch comes from RemyTheReaper, a good friend of mine. First she has something to say to Foreman. She says: I think my mom would marry you. She kind of thinks you're cool and she's only like 50 or whatever.

**Foreman:** Oh my God, yay! I have people that adore me!

**Revengent:** Uh…right. (Rolls eyes.) Next is the first question of the Great Chase Shampoo debate. (There is dramatic music, the lights dim and a spotlight focuses on Chase. A banner drops behind them the reads "The Great Shampoo Debate") Ahem, anyways, RemyTheReaper asks: What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell like flowers? I bet it does. I bet it smells like cherry blossoms, but Whispers of the Moon thinks is smells like strawberries. WHICH ONE?

**Random Chase fangirl #1: **What!? NO! It smells like vanilla!

**Random Chase fangirl #2:** No way! It smells like lavender!

**Random Chase fangirl #1: **Vanilla!

**Random Chase fangirl #2:** Lavender!

**Chase:** Um…I actually use magic shampoo. It can be whatever scent you want it to have. Whatever is most appealing to you.

**Cameron:** It smells citrusy to me.

**Random Chase fangirl #3: **It smells like freshly washed clothes to me!

**Chase:** (Sticks his head in Revengent's face.) Smell it!

**Revengent: **(Smells Chase's hair.) Minty!

**Chase:** See! I have awesome hair. (Does his sexy hair flick, causing the crowd to go crazy.)

**Revengent: **It is indeed. Uh…lights? (The lighting returns to normal, causes everyone to blink in pain as the light hurts their dilated pupils.) Okay, our next questions are from Whispers of the Moon. First, she says that Chase's hair smells like strawberries to her. Yum…strawberries…oh, right! (Laughs.) Then she has a question for House and Cuddy: if you ever had a kid together, what would you name him/her?

**House:** What do you mean him/her? Have you read any other fics? We always have girls.

**Revengent: **Just answer the question House.

**Cuddy: **I would like to name it something unique, but not too odd. I wouldn't mind naming her after my grandmother, Anna. If it's a girl, you know.

**House:** And if it's a boy, how about Joe?

**Cuddy:** Um…no.

**House:** Billy-Bob?

**Cuddy:** If it were to be a boy, I like the name Joshua.

**Revengent:** Thank you Cuddy. Next we have another statement for Foreman from Whispers of the Moon: I care about your feelings.

**Foreman: **(Smiles, then faints from happiness. The anti-Foreman's cheer.)

**Revengent: **Ha ha…oh. Okay, the next question is for Cameron. Do you like unicorns and rainbows?

**Cameron:** Oh yes! They are so pretty!

**Revengent:** Heck. Who doesn't like unicorns? The next question from Whispers of the Moon is for the wonderful Wilson. Would you ever take steroids and marry me?

**Foreman:** That one is from you! (He has recovered from his fainting spell.)

**Revengent:** No it's not!

**Wilson:** Steroids? (Sticks out his chest and flexes his arms, seeing what the drugs could do for him. Revengent is ogling at him, but then snaps out of it.)

**Revengent:** Well…?

**Wilson:** I'm still not looking for anyone. But maybe I'll consider steroids…

**Revengent and House:** No!

**Revengent:** Heh…anyways…another question for Chase. How do get so beautiful?

**Chase:** Oh, you know, I was born this way. I only get prettier as time goes on.

**Revengent:** And that's good for everyone. Okay, the next few questions are from butch16423. The first one is for…Chase! Do you get dressed in the dark?

**Chase:** No… (Cries.) Do you not like my clothes!?

**Revengent:** I can't say, that would be considered as "favoritism." (Looks over at Foreman and rolls her eyes.) The next is a follow-up question for Cameron. Why do you let him go out dressed like that?

**Cameron: **It's all his has in my drawer. Actually, that's the only kind of clothes he has.

**Revengent:** Okay. The next question is for House. If you could fire one of the new ducklings and replace them with one of the former ducklings, which would it be and why?

**House:** Does Foreman count?

**Revengent: **I would think so, but just to be safe, let's say no. One of the newest ones.

**House:** Hmm…I would have to say that I would have to fire Thirteen, just to stop the possible Foreman and Thirteen hook-up.

**Revengent:** Yeah!!!

**Foreman:** Why can't I just have some happiness?!

**Thirteen:** (Smiles, because she doesn't like being with Foreman.)

**House:** And I would re-hire Chase, so he could put Foreman in his place. And he's useful, doing surgeries and all.

**Revengent:** Sounds good to me. Okay, the next question is for Foreman. Since Cameron and Chase work in different departments, and if you hate working for House so much, why not just go work in the neurology department?

**Foreman:** I would love to, but I was hired on conditions from Cuddy. I have to play the "Cuddy Card," to House when Cuddy isn't around to do it herself.

**House:** Oh, I thought that you loved working for me?

**Foreman:** You wish.

**Revengent:** The next question is for House, Wilson and Cuddy. If you were sick/dying, which of the Ducklings, be it former or new ones, would you trust to cure you?

**Cuddy: **Well, at lot of them aren't that level-headed.

**Cameron, Chase and Foreman:** What does that mean!?

**Cuddy: **It means…you have some personal problems. Problems in which that could cost me my life. So if I were to trust anyone, I think it would be Taub.

**Taub:** (Faintly yells from the crowd.) Thanks!

**Wilson:** I would pick Chase. He's a smart lad.

**House:** I guess Kutner. He's creative like me, and hey, he electrocuted himself to save a patient. That's devotion.

**Revengent: **Absolutely. Okay, the last question from butch16423 is for House only. Who is doing your clinic hours since Chase left?

**House:** Nobody is doing them. I've been letting them accumulate over time. I'm waiting for Chase to continue doing them.

**Chase:** I'm not going to!

**Revengent:** That sounds like a personal problem to me. Okay, the next batch of questions is from sailormoonfreak5311. The first one is for House: will you make out with me? Marriage is too permanent to hold a man of your sexy beastliness. It should be shared with the world.

**House:** Mwahahaha! Take that Foreman! I should be shared with all the females of the world! But hey, when this is over, meet me out back. (Winks.)

**Revengent:** (Sighs and shakes head.) Okay, the next question is for everyone except House. What do you all think of House's marriage proposals?

**Cuddy and Cameron:** I don't like them.

**Chase:** He gets more than me! How is that possible?

**Foreman:** I get even less than you Chase!

**House:** Hey, the chicks dig me. Can't blame 'em.

**Revengent: **So true. Okay, the next question is for Cameron. What do you think of Thirteen?

**Cameron:** She's hot.

(Everyone turns to her in shock.)

**Cameron: **Oh grow up. She is very pretty and smart, and it's a shame she has Huntington's.

**Revengent: **(Nods.) Next up, everyone! What is the craziest thing House has ever done? (Laughs.) Oh goodness, this will be interesting.

**Cuddy:** I think his recent prank of the "Coconut girl" to Kutner and Taub was funny.

**Chase:** What about the time where he caused the "Great Mayonnaise Panic of 2007"?

**House:** Ha ha…that was a good one. I'm awesome.

**Foreman:** I think hiring forty fellows and singling them out "Survivor" style was pretty dumb.

**Wilson:** You guys are missing the big picture! What about the time when he stuck a knife in an electrical socket?

**Revengent:** …That was pretty dumb House.

**House:** Shut-up.

**Revengent:** No. (Sticks out tongue.) The next question is for Foreman. She says: I love you! Big time fangirl here. My question is are you bald on purpose or are you just bald?

**Foreman:** I have hair.

**Revengent:** Very little.

**Foreman:** (Sulks.) I thought woman liked bald guys…

**Chase:** Hello! They love me and my luxurious hair!

**Revengent: **Oh my, let's stop this now. Chase, stop bothering Foreman.

**Chase:** Fine.

**Revengent: **Okay, our next question is for House. Radom Dice asks House: Will you kiss Cuddy right now? Please?

**House:** Well, now that you gave me a reason to… (He leans over a kisses a surprised Cuddy on the lips. They linger for a moment before sitting up normally. The both blush and Huddy fans go insane.)

**Revengent:** Woo! Okay, the next few questions are from Amethyst Princess 27. The first one is for House. If you noticed someone else in Princeton, (or anywhere else for that matter), with a personality like yours, what would happen.

**House:** The end of the world. There can only be one of me. So I would have to kill the imposter before chaos ensued.

**Revengent: **Okay…now the same question, but for everyone else.

**Wilson:** I guess I would have to become his friend. (Mutters.)

**Cameron:** I would fall in love with him! (Resulted in a punch for Chase.) Ouch! Then I would get over him.

**Chase:** I would run away fast.

**Foreman:** Me too. (Thinks about the possibility of having two Houses around. It is overwhelming to him.)

**Cuddy:** I would…probably hire him. If he was a doctor. Or something else that can be used in a hospital.

**Revengent:** Okay, House. The next question is for you. Do you see the cup half empty or half full?

**House: **I do not see the cup. It does not exist. It is a figment of everyone's imagination.

**Revengent:** Well…that's a way to think about it. (Mutters something.) OKAY. Let's keep going. The next question is for Cameron. Amethyst Princess 27 asks: I see the truth…people will use you to their advantage. How can you/do you ignore the truth?

**Cameron:** If I don't think about it, it's not there and I don't have to deal with it.

**Wilson: **But you can't hide forever! That's what I'm always telling House!

**House:** Would you rather have a crappy life?

**Wilson:** I would-

**Revengent:** Sorry Wilson, but we must move on. Okay, the next question is for you. About Amber…why did you like her in the first place? Was it her "charming" personality?

**Wilson:** (Shrugs.) I don't know. I liked her spunk. She was smart too, unlike the people in my past relationships. (Looks over to Revengent.) Can you edit that out? I don't want my ex's coming and attacking me.

**Revengent:** Sure, anything for my favorite oncologist.

**Foreman:** FAVORITISM!!

**Revengent:** You're not an oncologist, so you can't be my _favorite oncologist_. Duh. Okay, our next question is for House. It reads: if you could run Princeton for an entire day, what would you do?

**House:** The city, or just the hospital?

**Revengent:** (Looks at the card, then shrugs.)

**House:** I'll take it as the city then. I would make a test to weed out the morons, and everyone that failed would have to leave the city. Then I wouldn't have to put up with them when they came to the clinic.

**Revengent:** Good idea. Okay, you have another question…

**House:** Damn, oh…I mean yay!

**Revengent:** Right. When you almost killed yourself to save Amber did you have another purpose or did you just think of it as another puzzle to solve?

**House:** It's always about the puzzle. But I guess…I was kind of doing it for Wilson too.

**Wilson:** Really! (Smiles his big lovable, goofy grin.) Thanks House! (Hugs House, who is trying to escape the Wilson Hug Trap. House manages to get out of Wilson's clutches.)

**Revengent:** Hey House, Amethyst Princess 27 plays the piano too.

**House:** Really? About time people got off their bum and played something other than Guitar Hero.

**Revengent:** True. Okay, next question is for Foreman. It is: Is it THAT bad to be like House or are you just too blind to see that no matter how he treats people he will actually get somewhere in life?

**Chase:** (Laughs.) Foreman's a looooser! He's going nowhere in life! Ha ha ha!

**Foreman:** (Glares at Foreman.) I am NOT a loser. But, I think I can be great in my own way, without being like House.

**House:** No you can't. It's my way, or no way. And you can't do it my way, so you shall remain a loser and boring.

**Foreman:** (Jumps up and storms over to House.) Why, you (BLEEP, BLEEPDLY, BLEEP…)

**Revengent:** Oh my God! K+! K+! (Gets up and stands in-between Foreman and House. House is trying to go around Revengent and smack Foreman with his cane, while Foreman tries to hit House, almost hitting Revengent in the process. Revengent remembers that her less than five foot five frame is probably not going to keep two grown men from fighting. Chase eventually sits Foreman down, while House smiles in accomplishment.)

Oh, wow, that was intense.

**Foreman:** He made fun of me!!!

**Revengent:** Boo-hoo. Okay, so next question, err…more like statement. She says: Chase, love the accent, and yes House, I am saying that of her own free will and I am not being bribed or blackmailed, tortured or threatened, etc…

**Foreman:** SHE LIES!

**Everyone:** Everybody lies.

**Revengent:** That was freaky. Okay, our next questions are from notlupus. They first ask House the question: what came first, the chicken or the egg?

**House:** I have pondered this question many times. I came to the conclusion that the chicken came first, because what would have hatched and tended to the young chickens?

**Chase:** But then where did the chicken come from.

**House:** The chickens have always been here Chase, since the start of time.

**Revengent:** And thank you House. Okay, next we have another question for House. Apples or oranges?

**House:** Apples, most definitely. Cuddy's apples.

**Cuddy:** (Gasps and covers her chest as everyone stares at her "apples.")

**Revengent: **Alrighty then…the last question from notlupus, and it is for House. The question is: if a hobo came up to you once when you were walking down the street and started pointing at you frantically and started yelling "The Chosen One! It's the Chosen One! He can save us all! Thank You Lord for granting him to us finally! THE CHOSEN ONE IS HERE!"

**House:** I would…take the man to the hospital on a case of insanity.

**Chase:** Wait…House isn't the Chosen One?

**Cameron:** Shh! (Whispers to Chase.)

**Chase:** Oh, right. It's a joke.

**Revengent:** (Looks to Cameron and Chase oddly, then shrugs and continues.) Anyways…our next few questions are from AiyanaStone. Hey Foreman, you got another fangirl here!

**Foreman:** Two in one day! OH MY GOD!

**Revengent:** Yippy. Okay, our first question is for House. If you could get rid of the cane, and reverse the effects of the infarction, would you?

**House:** I would get rid of the effects of the infarction, but I would keep the cane. I use it to beat people.

**Revengent:** Uh…right. Okay, next we have a question, oh wait, TWO questions for Foreman. The first one is: do you regret your decision at Mercy General?

**Foreman:** Nope. I saved the person, didn't I? That Dean was just a dumb ass.

**Cuddy:** She just doesn't take crap from doctors like I do.

**Revengent:** Right. Okay, the next one for you Foreman is: did you really struggle with childhood obesity?

**Foreman:** Yes. (Sniff.)

**Revengent:** Awww…it's okay. Okay, next up, Chase. Why are you so self-centered and shallow? Or why does Revengent portray you as such… (Looks up) hey!

**Chase:** I'm not _that_ self-centered. It's just that I look out for number one first. Like when I ratted on House during the time Vogler was there.

**Revengent:** Right. But it couldn't hurt to look out for someone else for a change. Next, we have a question for Cameron. Did you enjoy making House think he was going crazy?

**Cameron:** Yes, very much. Anytime to get the upper hand on House.

**Revengent: **Oh, we're just zipping through the questions now. Next, we have one for Cuddy. Are you, or have you ever been pregnant?

**Cuddy: **(Looks down.) Are you calling me fat?

**Revengent:** No!

**Cuddy:** Oh. No, I haven't. But I wish I was!

**Revengent: **Maybe one day. Okay, now a question for Wilson. What do you think of James Wilson, the signer of the Declaration of Independence?

**Wilson:** I think he's awesome. He has the same name as me!

**Revengent:** Yes, yes he does. Okay, our next group of questions is sent in from ChashingLupin. First, she asks House: why do you let being a cripple let you down? I mean, I've been a self-described gimp since I was 6, and I don't care. Oh, and my cane is way cooler than yours - my friends and I decorated it with quotes, music notes, rainbows and skull and crossbones and sheep.

**House:** (Looks shocked.) Well, I'm sorry that you're a self described gimp. But I know how it feels to be not crippled. I like running. And about your cane being cooler…well that's expected. I have rather lame friends. (Looks over at Wilson.)

**Wilson: **You're talking about me, aren't you?

**House:** How'd you guess?

**Revengent:** Yo, Wilson. Here's a question for you. Do you blame House for Amber's death? I'm also sorry for your loss.

**Wilson:** Thank you. And no…I don't blame House. It was just fate.

**Revengent:** Okay, here's a question for all of you. Do you believe in God?

**Cameron:** I'm the naïve atheist, remember?

**Foreman:** I sure do.

**Wilson:** Yes.

**Cuddy:** I do.

**Chase:** I like to think so.

**House:** Sometimes.

**Revengent:** Thanks for those quick answers. Next, we another question for all of you. Have you ever been to the Far North?

**Chase:** I've been to the Down Under.

**Revengent:** NORTH Chase.

**Cameron:** I've never left the country…

**Foreman:** Me neither.

**Wilson:** I've been to some parts of Russia…does that count?

**House:** I have traveled the world. So yes.

**Revengent: **Next we have a question for all of you. ChashingLupin asks: What's the worst thing in life to ever happen to you?

**House:** Being stabbed in the back by someone that I thought loved me.

**Cameron:** My husband died… (Sad face.)

**Foreman:** Being unloved. That makes me sad.

**Wilson:** Not knowing where my brother is. He could be dead for all I know.

**Cuddy:** Losing my child was the worst thing I have ever experienced.

**Chase:** My mum's death. It was traumatizing.

**Revengent:** Okays. Oh look Foreman! Something for you!

**Foreman:** YAY!

**Revengent:** She says: First of all, my mum had early-onset Alzheimer's (she was 35) so I sympathize. Secondly: Why are you so arrogant sometimes? I mean, I am a self-described fangirl of you, but you can be MEAN.

**Foreman:** I have another fangirl!? I have three! This is wonderful!

**Chase:** Uh, Foreman, she called you mean.

**Foreman:** Oh. I'm arrogant because people piss me off.

**Revengent:** (Whispers to Wilson.) Sounds like something House would say.

**Wilson:** (Nods.)

(Foreman is oblivious to all of this happening.)

**Revengent:** Ha ha…okay, now we have a question for Cuddy.

**Cuddy:** Finally!

**Revengent:** It is…do you like pizza?

**Cuddy:** (She falls over in her seat, and then sits back up.) Yes. I like pizza. I like pepperoni pizza.

**Revengent:** I like supreme pizza, with mushrooms, peppers, pepperoni, onions…oh, yeah, it's not my question. (Shifty eyes.) Okay, here's another question for you Cuddy. What would you do to House if you could do anything?

**Cuddy:** Anything?

**Revengent:** Anything.

**Cuddy:** Wow…um...I would make him have to reveal his feelings more. He needs to let out some of the pressure. (Winces, expecting the lie detector to go off. It doesn't.)

**Revengent:** Cuddy…should the detector go off?

**Cuddy:** No. (Her alarm starts blaring. The others curse and cover their ears. Revengent is pleased that some drama is happening.)

**Revengent:** (Motions for the alarm to go off. When it does, she clears her throat.) Well Cuddy? I guess there's more you would want to do to House.

**House:** Oh yeah!

**Cuddy:** Since the alarm didn't go off the first time, I don't think that I am entitled to answer that question.

**Revengent:** Whatever. Okay, here's a question for all of ya'll. What is your greatest regret?

**Foreman:** For not leaving House's fellowship earlier.

**Chase:** For not talking to my dad.

**House:** For agreeing to do this stupid show.

**Cuddy:** Not having kids when I had the chance.

**Wilson:** For marrying my third wife.

**Cameron:** My biggest regret is dying my hair blonde.

**Revengent:** Seriously, what were you thinking? Okay…the last question from ChashingLupin is for all of you. What is your heart's desire?

**Cameron:** I would love to help everyone that is in need. (Her eyes twinkle.)

**House: **I want to have no clinic duty. Then, my life would be complete.

**Wilson:** I just want to find someone who will make me happy. (The crowd goes "Awww.")

**Foreman:** I want to have a parade in my honor!

**Revengent:** Good luck with that.

**Chase: **I want to know the meaning of life.

**Cuddy: **…And I just want a child.

**Revengent:** Well, maybe you all will get what you want one day…except maybe Foreman. Ha ha…just kidding. Okay, our next few questions are from . First we have a question for Chase. It is: why do you have to be so annoying and always so over protective of Cameron?

**Chase:** (Whines.) I'm not annoying! (Everyone mutters.) Whatever. I'm protective of Cameron because I love her!

**Cameron:** I love you too! (She kisses Chase. Chameron fans squee.)

**Revengent:** So sweet. Okay, we have two questions for Foreman. It reads: you're a good guy in the show and are a good doctor, but why do you hate House and why are you worried about whether you have fans or not? You do, they just don't proclaim it a lot.

**Foreman:** I have fans! In your faces! (Calms down.) I don't hate House…I just dislike him very much. But I've learned to tolerate him.

**Revengent:** Well, that's a good thing, since you work with him and all. Okay, now we have a question for Wilson…oh my. (Gives the card to Cameron.) Can you read this one, so I can prove it's not just me saying it?

**Cameron:** Sure. The card says: Wilson, can't you just agree to go out with Revengent. Can't you see she's in love with you?

**Revengent: **(Smiles and blushes.)

**Wilson:** Wow. Um…again…I'm not looking for anyone to hook up with. (Smiles at Revengent.) But hey, you're cool and all…

**Revengent:** YAY! (Hugs Wilson.)

**Cameron:** Ahem.

**Revengent:** Oh, right. (Takes cards back from Cameron.) Thanks James.

**House:** Oooooooooh, it's _James_ now, huh?

**Revengent:** I'm just trying to be nice. Oh, and sends her love to you again. Okay, our next questions are from Lady Athena Lionfire. Her first question goes to House: would you love to see Steven Fry on the show as a patient or doctor? Oh and I love you! Great Britain thinks you rock!

**House:** (Sits up.) Oh yeah, I would love to see Fry as either. And thanks. I am pretty awesome.

**Revengent: **You are rockin' it. Okay, here's a question for Cuddy: the wardrobe department has a habit of putting you in costumes that are rather tight and revealing; doesn't that bother you that despite your position of power and obvious intellect you are still treated as a sex object to be looked at?

**Cuddy:** I like my clothes. You know what they say, if you got it, flaunt it. But thank you for your comment about my intellect.

**Revengent:** Thank you Cuddy. Okay, next we have a question for…Cameron. It is: it's really great that you began to grow a backbone during seasons two onwards and became less naïve, but don't you think you went too far having sex in a patient's house?

**Cameron:** Looking back, I would have to say that it was. But…it was fun.

**Chase: **Oh yes it was. (Grins.)

**Revengent:** Hey Chase: do you believe that you've been handed opportunities in life because of who your father was?

**Chase: **I know I got the job with House because of that, but some things I did earn, just because I am so awesome and skilled.

**Revengent:** That's a good thing. Okay, Foreman, your turn. Firstly, well done for pulling your life together, it takes a strong will to do the right thing. My question, is it really such a bad thing to be like House?

**Foreman:** Thanks. It took a lot of hard work. I already said earlier today…yes it is bad to be like House. I want to be _me_.

**Revengent:** Okay, and now Wilson. Lady Athena Lionfire says: sorry for your loss. Do you ever cling to who House was when he becomes unbearable, I'm assuming before his infarction he was less of an ass?

**Wilson:** Thank you. Um, actually, House was pretty much the same. Sadly.

**Revengent:** Okay. Our next batch of questions is from Chanthel. She has s few questions for Wilson. The first one is: Would you move in with House again if he promised not to make practical jokes?

**Wilson:** Uh…I don't trust House to not to play jokes, so his promise wouldn't be worth much. He might not do any for the first week or so, but his impulse control would snap.

**Revengent:** Next: Would you just buy an apartment, a HOUSE or something? Wilson alone in the hotel room scenes make Wilson fans terribly sad. (Looks up.) It does. Wilson fans cry when we see lonely Wilson.

**Wilson:** Oh, I'm sorry. I have an apartment now though.

**Revengent:** Okay, good. The next question is: where did you learn to cook? Can we all get some pancakes? Come on House; help us and yourself on this!

**House: **Yes. PANCAKES!

**Wilson:** My mom taught me how to cook. I was the oldest kid, so I always had to take care of my brothers. Sure, pancakes for everyone!

**Revengent:** Yay! Okay, the next question is for everyone. What do you want for your birthday?

**Cameron: **I want a pony!

**Chase:** Psh, I want a lion. Rawr.

**Wilson:** I want my sanity back. (Glares at House.)

**Foreman:** I want my parade, damn it.

**Chase:** You're not going to get a parade Foreman! Live with it!

**Cuddy:** I want a Huddy baby!

**House:** Huh?

**Cuddy:** Ho-hum…

**House:** I want a Wii. (Looks over to Wilson.) Willllllllllson?

**Wilson: **(Grumble.)

**Revengent:** Okay, now we have a question for Foreman. Do you think it's sarcoidosis?

**Foreman:** What? I don't understand. What are we diagnosing? (Puzzled.)

**Revengent:** Whatever. Okay Chase and Wilson. Your hair. Is it magic pixie dust or do you just use Pantene Pro-V? And Chase, we know about your magic shampoo, so I guess this is just for Wilson.

**Wilson:** Um…my hair products are much less magical. It's just plain old Pantene Pro-V.

**Revengent:** I have a feeling that Pantene Pro-V's sales are going to go up after this episode. Okay, the next questions are from i panicked at your disco. The first question is for Cameron: why are you so...annoying/clingy and...way too confused on who you'd screw, because it's clearly seeming like it'd be House. But oh well, I mean, Chase is way too good for you.

**Chase:** (Scoffs.) Too good for me? TOO GOOD FOR ME?!?!

**Revengent:** CALM DOWN WOMBAT!

**Cameron:** Uh…I have mixed feelings about people? I'm so nice and loving, I give love to everybody! (Runs around the stage and kisses everyone. Chase, Foreman, Wilson, Cuddy (reluctantly), and House. Revengent smacks Cameron before she can make an advance.)

**Revengent:** O-kay…next we have questions

**Chase:** I'm hungry! We've been here forever!

**Revengent: **Here, have some fluffernutters. (Passes a plate of the peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches down the row, each doctor taking one.) Like I was saying, next we have some questions from Suffering from Writer's Block. She first has something to say to Cameron. It reads: I really don't think it'd be hard to obtain that sample, if you know what I mean.

**Cameron:** I have my ways…. (Smirks.)

**Revengent:** Next is one for… (Mutters.) Revengent, please put Wilson in like a cone of silence for a moment, I have a question for House that involves…oh. (Presses a button on her chair and a vortex thing appears around Wilson.)

**Revengent:** Wilson can you hear us?

**Wilson:** (Screams.) What? I can't hear you. I can't hear! I can't hear! HELP! WHAT-

**Revengent:** (Presses another button to silence Wilson. Wilson looks confused, but then gives up and sits back in his chair.) Okay. House, here's a question for you. Why weren't you objectifying Amber? Did you actually have feelings for her? And, if so, or if not, I guess, what was your favorite thing about Amber?

**House:** Oh. That. Amber was different. She was like me…and I respect that. And she was special to Wilson, and I actually wanted it to work out for them, even though it didn't seem like it. I didn't have _that_ kind of feelings for her, but I liked her assertiveness.

**Revengent:** Thanks. I guess we can let Wilson out of this now… (Presses button on her chair, and the "cone" disappears.)

**Wilson:** That was weird. What did you guys say?

**House:** We talked about how weird you were. And how your ties suck.

**Revengent:** I like Wilson's ties!

**House: **You're the only one.

**Wilson fangirl representative:** What are you talking about House? Wilson's ties rock!

**Wilson:** (Sticks his tongue out at House.)

**Revengent:** Okays, Cameron: did you ever experiment in college?

**Cameron:** What kind of experimenting? (Mischievous grin.) I did what every college student does…use your imagination.

**Chase:** Hee hee…

**Cameron:** Stop being a pervert.

**Revengent:** Okay, here's a question for Cuddy. Would you ever consider being with Chase for any reason?

**Cuddy:** Uh… (Her and Chase stare at each other.) Um…not particularly. But, maybe? Possibly if we were both really desperate.

**Revengent:** That's good enough. Okay, next up it's you Chase. Suffering from Writer's Block says: I don't really like you that much. I'm sorry. You're a pretty cool person with a kickin' accent. However, your "microwave pizza" situation turned is getting on my nerves. Would you ever consider ditching your situation? You know, like dumping Cameron?

**Chase:** Did you hear that? My accent is kickin'!

**Revengent:** (Whaps Chase in the head with her cards.) Answer the question! I'm getting short tempered!

**Chase:** Okay, okay! Well, I was thinking about dumping Cameron, but then she let me have a drawer, so I'm staying for awhile.

**Revengent:** Okay, now Cameron, would you ever consider dumping Chase?

**Cameron:** When I just opened up to him? Um…that took over a year, so I don't want to lose all of that.

**Revengent:** Okay, House: what would you do if Cameron came crying to you?

**House:** I would kick-

**Revengent:** Oh, kicking her out isn't an option.

**House:** Um…okay then. I guess I would ask her what was wrong, and then go from there.

**Revengent:** I always knew you had that caring side of you. Wilson: what would you do if you weren't House and Amber's only "love child"?

**Wilson:** I would go find my siblings, and fight over the attention from our single father. (Sniff.)

**Revengent:** House, do you know that song, "Mystery"? Sing it if you do!

(A piano comes out from nowhere and House walks over to it and sits down.)

**House: **_Mystery  
All my life has been a mystery  
You and I were never ever meant to be  
That's why I call my love for you a mystery_

Different country  
You and I have always lived in a different country  
And I know that airline tickets don't grow on a tree  
So what kept us apart is plain for me to see  
That much at least is not really a mystery

Estuary  
I live in a houseboat on an estuary  
Which is handy for my work with the Tamesis Port Authority  
But I know you would have found it insanitary  
Insanitary

Taken a violent dislike to me  
I'd be foolish to ignore the possibility  
That if we'd ever actually met, you might have hated me  
Still, that's not the only problem that I can see

Dead since 1973  
You've been dead now . . . wait a minute, let me see...  
Fifteen years come next January  
As a human being you are history

So why do I still long for you?  
Why is my love so strong for you?  
Why did I write this song for you?  
Well, I guess it's just the mystery

Mystery

(The crowd cheers and House mutters something he sits back down.)

**Revengent:** That was lovely. And the last comment from Suffering from Writer's Block is for Foreman. It reads: Foreman, get over the fangirl situation. People don't like mocking you (that much), don't make us.

**Foreman:** Get over it? What kind of order is that? (Psh.) I kissed Thirteen!

**Thirteen:** (Shudders.)

**Revengent:** (Smile fades, and gets a very serious voice.) We don't talk about that.

(The crowd nods.)

**Revengent:** Okay. Now we have a couple of questions from beautiful dreamere. The first question is for Foreman, Cameron and Chase. Which of the new Ducklings is your favorite and who is your least favorite?

**Cameron:** I don't like Thirteen. She's an imposter. But I like Kutner. He's spunky.

**Kutner:** One point for me. I'm winning!

**House:** Kutner! It's not a game anymore.

**Foreman:** Well, I happen to like Thirteen. I don't like Taub though. He's a know-it-all.

**Taub:** I am not!

**Revengent:** Chase?

**Chase:** I like Taub. He gets things done. And I don't like…Kutner, I guess. I'm afraid he might blow something up.

**Revengent:** And if are counting the points at home, they all are at an even…zero.

(Taub, Kutner and Thirteen look a little sad.)

**Revengent:** Okay, the next question is for House. Do you ever wish you had your old team back instead of your new one?

**House:** Sometimes. I wish I could just have a super team with all six! That would be my dream. My own army.

**Revengent:** Right. Okay Wilson, has House ever pissed you off to the point where you considered killing him?

**Wilson:** …Do I have to say?

**Revengent:** (Nods.)

**Wilson:** Okay. (Squeaks.) Yes.

**House:** What?

**Wilson:** Come on House. Really?

**Revengent:** You two can talk about this later. Okay Cuddy. Have you ever thought about not giving House clinic duty? I mean it would be a lot less stressful than making him do it all the time.

**Cuddy: **I have thought about that, but every doctor at PPTH has their civic duty of the clinic. But House usually finds some way to get out of it…

**Revengent:** Well that your problem. Now here is a question for all of you. If you could switch bodies with one of the others (or one of the new Ducklings), who would you would it be and why?

**Cameron:** I would switch with Cuddy. She has a good body.

**Foreman:** I would switch with House. He has fangirls.

**Wilson:** I would switch with House. I would like to know what it's like to be him.

**House:** And I would switch with Wilson. I want to know how he gets it on with his patients.

**Wilson:** House!

**Chase:** Do I really have to switch? Yes? Fine. Um…Cameron, because I would want to make out with myself.

(Everyone looks blankly at Chase.)

**Chase:** Yeah. I would.

**Cuddy:** To break the awkwardness…I would switch with Cameron, just because she's the only other female that isn't dying with a major sickness.

**Revengent:** Finally got that question over with. And beautiful dreamere sends hugs and kisses to all the guys! Got them? Good. Okay, now we have some questions from cryingblacktears. The first one is for Cuddy: do you have as many clinic hours as everyone else?

**Cuddy:** I don't. But I do other things that the other doctors don't. Like paperwork (she says as she glares at House.)

**Revengent:** Understandable. Okay everyone, what kind of books do you like to read?

**Kutner:** Sci-fi!

(Taub and Thirteen restrain Kutner.)

**Foreman:** She didn't ask you! Um…I like horror stories.

**House:** (Mutters.) Because your life is a horror.

(Everyone laughs, except Foreman.)

**Cameron:** I love romance novels! (Stars in her eyes.)

**House:** You know I like those erotica novels. (Winks.)

**Wilson:** I like those sappy books that make you cry.

(The Wilson fangirls swoon.)

**Cuddy:** I read non-fiction. I find them interesting.

**Chase: **I read those teenage angst books.

**House:** Chase…?

**Chase:** You read them too. You lent me the _Gossip Girl_ series.

**House:** (Grumble.)

**Revengent:** Okay, now we have a question for Chase and Wilson. Did you go through a teenage-angsty phase?

**Chase:** My mum died, and my dad left. Of course I did.

**Wilson:** Sadly…

**Revengent:** Okay, Hollyclaw has a question for everyone except Chase. Do you ever feel like messing up Chase's hair?

(Everyone nods. House reaches over and ruffles Chase's hair. Chase squirms.)

**Revengent:** Okay, next we have some questions from LastWhiteRose. The first one is for Foreman. Do you have a social life? Because it seems like all you do is work.

**Foreman:** I do have a social life! (Alarms go off.)

**Revengent:** (Motions for the alarm to go off.) I won't ask any follow up questions on that one. Okay, Cuddy you have one now. What did you really think of Lucas (the P.I.)? Because even though he was creepy and was snooping around for House, you have to admit he was cute.

**Cuddy:** Yeah, he is kind of cute. (Blushes.) But he really isn't my type.

**Revengent: **True. Okay House: Whatever happened to Lucas? It seems like after Wilson came back to PPTH he disappeared.

**House:** That's exactly what happened. I fired him; I got what I needed back. And by what I needed, I meant Wilson. I can only handle one friend at a time.

**Revengent:** Because we all don't need more friends? That makes no sense. Oh well. Chase!

**Chase:** Huh?

**Revengent:** When you were bowling with House, were you winning? And where did you get such a cool bowling ball?

**Chase:** Of course I was winning. House has too much of a tilt. And I got my bowling ball imported from Australia.

**Revengent: **And now an inquiry for Cameron and Chase. Have you guys had sex in the hospital since the closet incident?

(Cameron and Chase look at each other, then to Cuddy.)

**Cameron:** Since you're going to find out anyway…yes.

**Cuddy:** That's not good!

**House: **Oh hush.

**Revengent: **Okay, here is our last batch of questions from Esoteric Cryptogram. She asks everyone: if you could meet the actors of any show (cough) crossover (cough) which cast would you chose?

**Foreman:** I like the show, _Lost_.

**House: **Oh good. So you'd get stuck on the island!

**Foreman: **Oh wait, I want to change my answer-

**Revengent:** Sorry, you can't.

**Foreman: **(Pouts.)

**Wilson:** I think the show _Pushing Daises_ is pretty awesome. I would like to be able to touch people and they would be able to come back to life.

**Chase:** People like Amber?

**Wilson:** No! I just like the concept. Why does everyone bother me about Amber?

**Cameron:** I like the cast of_ Gossip Girl_.

**Chase:** God Cameron. Really? (Shakes head.) I think I would pick Bones, just because everyone thinks we go together with that cast already.

**Revengent:** Far enough. Cuddy? House?

**Cuddy:** I would like to be in _Desperate Housewives_.

**House:** Oh me too! With all of those cougars.

**Revengent:** Err…okay. Foreman, here's a comment for you. She says: why don't you know how cool I think you are after the brain thing in season two? With the exception of screaming at my wonderful adoptive mother.

**Foreman:** Thanks. I will do anything to get those fans. Why don't other people like me like you?

**Revengent:** Ask them. Okay Cuddy: thanks for adopting me and why do you dress the fantastic way you do? Is it a feminine thing or authority thing? Personally I love it.

**Cuddy:** No problem. Thank you! A lot of people I dress like a slut so it's good to hear that people like the way I dress. I dress this way because it's pretty. (Shows off her pretty blouse. The crowd "ooohs!")

**Revengent:** Okay, here's one for Cameron: why the blonde? Just wondering.

**Cameron:** GOD! Why does everyone hate it? (Cries.) I had to do it because I had to conceal my identity.

**Revengent:** Why do you need to conceal…never mind. Okay, here's a fun one for everyone. Admit it. (Pauses, then does a _Birthmarks_ impression of House.) Admit it! Admit it! Admit it! Admit it! Admit it! Admit it! ADMIT IT!

**Wilson: **(Throws the plate of fluffernutters though the television monitor a few feet away.)

**Chase: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Runs to get the fluffernutters.)

**House:** Good job Wilson. Now Rev hates you.

**Revengent:** No I don't!

**Wilson:** Sorry everyone. I had a momentary break down. (Laughs.)

**Revengent:** Anyways…okay. Question. Admit it. You all have a favorite ship, what show and what pairing?

**Cuddy:** Mulder/Scully from The X-Files!

**Chase: **Oh, me too! (He is sitting in his seat again. He retrieved the fluffernutters.)

**House:** Oh, Blair/Serena from _Gossip Girl_ is so hot!

**Cameron:** Ewww! Slasher! I think Blair/Chuck is better!

**Foreman:** What ship? I'm confused.

**House:** Don't worry. You don't have one.

**Wilson: **I like Ned/Chuck from _Pushing Daisies_. Isn't it so sad how they can't touch though? (Sad face.)

**Revengent:** It is. Okay, here is a question for Chase. Can you a kangaroo to maul my brother, who mocks your oh-so called "British" accent?

**Chase:** I'm not British! Oh my God! Yes, let the kangaroos attack!

**Revengent:** Okay. Send some to my aunt too. She thinks you're a Brit as well.

**Chase:** Arg!

**Revengent:** Okay Wilson. Pierce any part of your body on stage please.

**Wilson:** What!

**House:** You heard her. Come on Jimmy.

**Wilson: **Fine. Pierce my ear.

**House:** Oh, nothing more naughty? Oh well. (Reaches over and puts a needle though Wilson's ear, and puts in an earring that Revengent gave to him.)

**Wilson:** OWWW!

**House: **It's over baby.

**Wilson:** (Looks in the mirror.) Well, this is new.

**Revengent:** And that is it!

**Everyone: **(Cheers.)

**Revengent:** Thanks for all the questions sent in by you all, and a special thanks to the doctors for answering them and letting us put them through the torture. Remember, next time, Kutner, Taub and Thirteen are available for questions.

**Taub:** Joy.

**Kutner:** I'm kind of excited about it.

**Thirteen:** Sure, _you _would be.

**Revengent:** Right. Okay, until next time! Thanks and remember an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

* * *

**Okay, so review and ask those questions. I'm going to allow two (2) weeks before my next update on this fic. That will give me time to write all those questions. So yes, the New team can be asked thigs now. And VERY IMPORTANT NOTE HERE! I hate to do this, but I am going to limit the questions that go to "everyone" to only two per person. Now that there would be nine people answering them, that takes a lot of space. But other than that, whatever is fine, as long as it's reasonable. Meaning: try to keep it under ten questions. I'm not going to go crazy if you give more than that, but leave some for next time so they can be spaced out :) And give ol' Rev a break. :) But thank you for sticking with me!**

**-Revengent**


	8. Episode 8

**-gasp- An update! I know, I know...it's been awhile. But anyways, here it is! There's a few notes to add before I start though...**

**There is a quote from The Office in here, and whoever gets it gets a prize. What's the prize? Knowing that you know something that other people don't. And yes, in real life I am shorter that Taub. And at the end I will list all the episodes that are referenced in this chapter.**

**Thanks, and you know what to do! :)**

**Oh, and I have no intent of getting rid of Kutner. He's staying. :)**

* * *

(The usual theme song plays as the doctors file on stage, this time remember that Taub, Thirteen and Kutner are included. They all wave to the screaming fans in the crowd and they make their way over to the center of the stage where there the seats are. There are now magically enough for everyone, and the seat arrangement is as follows: Foreman, Chase, Cameron, Cuddy, House, an empty seat, Wilson, Taub, Kutner and Thirteen. Then, Revengent walks onto the stage and sits in the empty seat that is between House and Wilson.)

**Revengent:** Hello and welcome to the eight episode of _Ask a Doctor!_

**Cuddy:** We've been waiting long enough. We're locked into this contract and we weren't doing anything.

**Kutner: **Yeah, I've been really excited for this!

**Revengent:** Well, don't worry, because it's time to answer those questions now. First off, let's have a question for one of our newer members of the show, Taub. This is from leSophsters, and she wants to know: Why are you such an arrogant jerk?

**Taub:** (Looks up in shock.) Excuse me? I'm not arrogant; I just get annoyed at things. I don't have a lot of time, so when people do things that are dumb, don't think you wouldn't get pissed off either. Because you would.

**Revengent:** That sounds a little bit like House. Here's another question from leSophsters that is for Thirteen. Why do you get all of the good storylines, and have you filed for a restraining order for the writers yet?

**Thirteen:** I get the good story lines because I'm interesting and it reflects House's own issues that he needs to deal with. And why would I get a restraining order for the writers? They haven't done anything to me, except pair me with that guy. (Points to Foreman.)

**Revengent:** That sounds like a good reason to me to get a restraining order. Anyways, here are some questions from aradiea. (Checks pulse.) And by the way, yes, I am very much alive. Thanks for asking. The first two questions are for Thirteen. Would you ever go for Cameron or Cuddy? And how does it feel dating the least popular character on the show?

**Thirteen:** No, I wouldn't ever go for Cameron or Cuddy. They're both taken. And for the second question… (shudders). I don't like "dating" Foreman at all. It's a delusion that the writers thought would be good.

**Revengent:** Trust me, a lot of people fear the number fourteen now. Anyways, House, do you like your new Ducklings?

**House:** No. I hate everyone.

(Kutner looks sad.)

**Revengent:** Well…okay then. Do you hate your job?

**House:** There are certain parts of it I hate. Having to get consent, talking to the patient, and having to be around these (points to the other doctors) people is what I hate.

**Wilson:** House, that's basically your whole job.

**House: **I know.

**Revengent: **Here's a statement from aradiea to Chase. It is: Go jump in a lake.

**Chase:** (Flips his hair out of his eyes) Why? What did I ever do to you?

**Revengent: **Apparently, they don't like you. The next question is for Cameron. I LOVES YOU! Will you break up with Chase?

**Cameron:** Um…we just got engaged so I don't think that will happen anytime soon…

**Revengent:** …and that made Hameron fans all over the world cry into their pillows. But…Taub!

**Taub:** …what?

**Revengent: **How does it feel to be so boring and unimportant? (Shows him the card.) That wasn't from me. Personally, I love you.

**House:** What is it with you and philanderers?

**Revengent:** (Blank stare.) I don't love him like I love Wilson. Just answer the question. (Mutters something.)

**Taub:** I'm not boring. You just can't appreciate my dead-pan humor.

**Revengent:** Correct. Kutner, here's your first ever question!

**Kutner: **(Straightens up in his seat.) Yay!

**Revengent:** (Reads card.) You are so cute!

**Kutner:** (Tilts his head.) That's not a question.

**Revengent:** No. No it's not. But it's a rather nice compliment.

**Kutner:** Aw, thanks! But I was hoping for a question…

**Revengent: **Well, sorry. Okay, here's one for Wilson. Araidea wants to know what you would do if she randomly appeared riding on a unicorn, and then saved you from the evil Revengent. (Frowns.) I am not evil!

**Wilson:** (Clearly uncomfortable.) I…uh…don't know?

**Revengent:** Let's just leave it at that. And the last one in the batch is for Foreman. Araidea wants you to know that she is a Foreman fangirl, and despises Chase.

**Foreman:** (Tears forming in eyes and he falls from the chair onto his knees.) Oh my God, THANK YOU!

**Revengent:** Uh, right. (She throws the card behind her and lets it fall somewhere behind her.) The next few questions are from RemyTheReaper. She asks Thirteen: WHY did you steal my name?

**Thirteen:** Her name is Thirteen?

**Revengent: **(Whispers.) I think she means _Remy._

**Thirteen: **Oh. I didn't steal your name. Lots of people are named Remy.

**Revengent:** Okay, here's another for you. Will you marry Kutner and find a cure for Huntington's and have an adorable daughter and name her Leia...please?

**Thirteen:** That's an awful big plan. But…it sounds nice. (Sneaks a glance to Kutner.)

**Revengent:** And how about you Kutner? Same question. Only you'd marry her…not you.

**Kutner:** I love the name Leia! So…sure?

**Revengent:** How adorable. (Is in Kudley induced happiness.)

**Foreman:** What about me!? (Whines.) Thirteen!

**Revengent:** (Ignores.) So Kutner, the question that everyone wants to know: Star Wars or Star Trek?

**Kutner:** Oh man. Tough question. Do I have to choose?

**Revengent:** (Nods.)

**Kutner:** Hmm. I guess I'm going to have to go with…AH! It's too hard to pick one! So I pick Battlestar Galactica!

**Revengent: **Not an option, but I guess it avoids having to pick between the other two…anyways. Here's something for Taub from RemyTheReaper: I LOVE YOU! In a completely platonic way. Keep being awesome.

**Taub:** I don't know what to say…

**Kutner:** Thank you, maybe?

**Revengent:** See Taub, you have awesome people that like you. Oh hey, Foreman?

**Foreman:** (Hopeful.) Yes?

**Revengent:** RemyTheReaper wants to know: Will you just go hide in your closet now and never come out?

**Foreman:** Why does everyone pick on me? (Pouts.)

**Revengent: **Get over it. And here's one for Cuddy: Now that you have a kid, are you going to let House anywhere near her so that he can corrupt her, or are you going to break the hearts of all the Huddy fans and keep him away?

**Cuddy:** Would you let your kid near House?

**Revengent:** I don't have any kids. And you can't ask me questions.

**Cuddy:** (Shrugs.) I guess I wouldn't mind having Rachel around House, as long as he doesn't make her as cynical as him. (Pause.) And when I say Rachel, I'm talking about my baby, not Taub's wife.

**Revengent:** Yeah, why the frick is there two people named Rachel?! It gets so confusing.

**House:** GOD. Stop complaining. Get on with the show.

**Revengent:** Fine. (Sticks out tongue.) Here's a…statement for Taub from bedlamandbroomsticks. (Sulks.) God, you have a bigger chip on your shoulder than Foreman, and he has a reason. Grow up.

**Taub:** I don't have a reason? (Jumps out of chair.) And what's Foreman's reason? I have plenty of reasons! My marriage was crap, I'm going broke, House constantly makes fun of me, I lost my wonderful job, almost nobody writes about me and I'm constantly made fun of because of my height-

**House:** All of which are your fault.

**Taub:** How the hell is being short my fault?!

**Revengent:** (Runs over to Taub and stands next to him.) You're taller than me! See?

**Taub: **(Looks down at Revengent.) Wow, you are short.

**Revengent:** (Sighs.) Yeah, I am. Now sit back down. (Taub does, and Revengent sits back down too.) Here's a question for Thirteen from Arrin: I know you're a big girl who can make your own decisions, and after being handed the short end of the stick when it comes to life, you deserve all the happiness you can get; but if I may ask, why Foreman? What attracted him to you?

**Thirteen: **I…don't know. I'm kind of confused about the whole situation. I think that may have not been Huntington's drugs that I was given…

**Foreman:** (Looks uncomfortable.)

**Taub:** If you hurt her, I swear, I'll kill you.

**Kutner:** Yeah!

**Foreman: **Uh…

**Revengent:** Anywho, moving on…okay, here's a question for House from Piper -loves you-. Are you SURE you don't like Wilson? You two would make such a cute couple!

**House: **Ugh. (Bangs his head against the armrest of Revengent's chair.)

**Kutner: **HAHA. Seriously, I never thought about it, but you two together make sense…

**Wilson and House:** SHUT UP.

**House:** We're not gay.

(Everyone waits for alarms to go off. They don't.)

**Taub:** You don't have to be gay to be with someone. You can be two people who happen to be attracted to each other.

**House: **What kind of logic is that? And you shouldn't talk. People are calling you and Kutner the new Hilson.

**Taub: **What the *&%# is Hilson?

**Cameron:** It's one of the ships of the show. You know, House and Wilson? Hilson. House and Cuddy is Huddy. Me and Chase together is Chameron. You and Kutner together is…Kaub? (Whispers to Chase.) Do they have a ship name?

**Taub:** I'm married! I don't want a ship name-

**Kutner:** Yeah. That is…weird.

**Revengent:** (Trying to regain control.) Right. Come on. (Grows impatient.) PAY ATTENTION! (Everyone stops chattering.) Here's a couple of questions from glitterxxxx.

**Foreman:** That's a lot of X's.

**Revengent: **Don't insult the reviewers! (Throws card at him.) glitterxxxx asks Cuddy this: What really happened with the third implantation, did you really lose the baby?

**Cuddy:** Yes, I really lost it. (Sad face.)

**Revengent:** But that's okay, you have a kid now! And House: What do you think of Stephan Fry?

**House:** He's one of the two funniest guys ever.

**Revengent: **That was concise. Okie dokie, here's is some questions from LEP's007. First for House: What do you think of Hugh Laurie?

**House:** Oh, he's the other funniest guy ever. And he's quite sexy too, if I do say so myself.

**Revengent:** (Holds up a picture of Hugh that she randomly got from somewhere and compares it to House. She then shrugs, then puts the picture away from the random place where it came from.) The next question is for House. Who's your idol?

**House:** Socrates.

**Revengent:** Nice pick. Next: What super hero powers would you like to have and how would you use them?

**House:** I have superpowers. Super diagnostic skills. (Waggles his eyebrows.)

**Revengent: **If you say so. Here is one last one for you for awhile… What would you do with Chase if he was your personal slave for a week? How about Cuddy?

**House:** (Grins.) Well, if it was Chase, I would torture him.

**Chase:** (Groans.) Why?

**House:** …But if it was Cuddy… (looks over to Cuddy, who looks not pleased). Well, you all know what I would _want_ her to do. But I don't force people into that sort of thing.

**Revengent:** (Mumbles.) I don't think you'd have to really force her…

**Cuddy: **What was that?

**Revengent: **Nothing. Oh here's one something for you Foreman: I WANT TO MARRY YOU! I'D FIGHT THIRTEEN FOR YOU!

**Thirteen:** Please do.

**Foreman:** I love all this love for me today. IN YOUR FACE CHASE!

**Chase: **I still have an overwhelming number of fans more than you.

**Foreman:** You know what? You just don't want to let me win!

**Chase:** That would be correct.

**Revengent:** Please stop! (Mumbles.) I always have to break up fights between you two… Here's the next question from LEP's007 and it is for Kutner. How is Harold doing?

**Kutner:** Um…I don't know anyone named that…I think there may be something blocking my memory. Oh! But there was a patient that House treated like five years ago that looks like someone that I think that in an alternate universe I would know as Harold and I would be Kumar.

**Revengent: **(Is quiet for about forty seven seconds before speaking.) Okay then. Chase: How do you think you stack up against Edward Cullen?

**Chase:** That weird vampire kid? I would be able to kick is arse. I have much better hair and I don't need to freaking sparkle. I win.

**Revengent:** And I agree. Here is the last question from LEP's007 and it is for Cuddy: House and you get married, where would you honeymoon? No, do NOT avoid the question by saying it would never happen or that the marriage wouldn't last that long.

(The Huddies in the audience seat on the edge of their seats.)

**Cuddy:** Okay, _if_ House and I were to ever get married, which I'm not avoiding the question since I was told not to, I think that we would go somewhere far away so we wouldn't have to deal with work or the people at work. Maybe…Italy?

**House:** I was thinking more like LA.

**Cuddy:** Well, the question is for me, not you!

**Revengent:** Moving right along… (Flips through cards). Here's one from RavennaNightwind. The first one goes to Thirteen and Foreman: Why the random make out session?

**Foreman:** Because I had this voice in my head telling me to.

**Thirteen:** I don't know. My memories from that night are kind of fuzzy…I think it may have been that tumor that was in my head that later magically _poofed_ was pressing on my brain and it was affecting my decision making.

**Revengent:** Well, that's just tragic. Now, here's a question from Amethyst Princess 27. She asks all of you: What is the one thing that has left you scarred for life?

**Wilson:** Well for me, I would have to say it would be seeing House almost die like fifty thousand times.

**House:** It is not fifty thousand times. Maybe more like…six times? I lost count.

**Foreman:** Seeing Chase's FACE scarred me.

**Chase:** A lot of people think my face is really pretty, actually.

**House:** (Sings.) I feel pretty, oh so pretty…

**Everyone:** …I feel pretty and witty and…

**Chase and Foreman:** …GAY! (Both look over at House, who is laughing.)

**Chase:** Ha ha, very funny.

**Foreman: **I didn't think it was funny…

**Revengent:** Oh my God it's sarcasm! Read a book! Can we please get this question answered?

**Thirteen:** (Rocking in her chair with her knees hugged against her chest.) _Fore…man…_

**Taub:** Getting fooled into think that we killed that hooker that House hired scarred me for life. I almost had a heart attack when she sat up and started breathing again.

**Kutner:** Oh man, yeah! That freaked me out! Then you pretty much mauled me…

**Taub:** Sorry. I couldn't help but reach out and hug you when I thought that someone dead had came back to life.

**Revengent:** Thank you guys. So now we are waiting for Cameron, Cuddy and House to answer. (Hands defibrillators to Kutner.) I'm going to let him go with these if you guys don't hurry up.

**Cameron:** (Says this quickly, eyeing the shiny defibrillators.) There was this guy that came into the ER and he was smelly and I asked him what was wrong, because he looked very sad. Because you know me, I'm like a big fluffy teddy bear, except when I'm angry because then I'm like a demon teddy bear that wants to attack you. But anyways, I asked him again what was wrong and he didn't say anything, so because I'm persistent I asked him again and he ignored me, and after I asked him like eight more times, I thought he was going to say something but he took a deep breath then fell on the floor. I freaked out and started being all doctor-like and I pushed up his sleeve to feel his pulse and in the process of doing so I saw that there was this huge piece of metal jammed in his stomach! And then I read his medical alert bracelet that said that he was a mute. And that was the worst experience of my life.

(Everyone is staring at Cameron, who had everyone totally lost. Cuddy is the first to recover.)

**Cuddy:** When did this happen? I never knew about it.

**Cameron:** It happened when you had your baby drama. I thought it would be best to not bother you with it.

**Cuddy:** That's very…thoughtful of you. But anyways, to answer the question, the most scarring moment for me would have to be thinking that I was going to have a baby, then have all hope taken away from me.

**Revengent:** You have Rachel!

**Taub:** What? Why-

**Cuddy: **The kid! Not the grown up! (Sighs.) Yes, I do have a kid now…where ever she is…I hope she's being looked after…

**Revengent:** Don't worry; I have her being monitored by a babysitter. (Suspiciously pulls out her cell phone and begins texting.)

**Kutner:** What about you House? What scarred you for life?

**House:** I was in a freaking bus that turned over like four times. Does that answer enough for you?

**Revengent:** (Shuts her phone.) It sure does. Now here we have a question from the girl. It says: QUIT CHASE BASHING! (Flings card behind her, leaving the mess for someone else to clean up.) Well, stuff just happens on here and I can't promise anything. Chase sets himself up for a lot of stuff though…

**Chase:** I FOUND THE FLUFFERNUTTERS! (Holds up a plate of the sandwiches that appeared out of nowhere, because Revengent sure didn't make them.)

**Revengent:** …just like that. Here is question from RandomDice for Huddy – House and Cuddy: Are you secretly dating? Married? Lovers? Parents to kids together?

**House:** Wouldn't you like to know?

**Huddy fan from the audience: **YES I WOULD!

**Cuddy: **Well…

(A loud explosion goes off and everyone screams bloody murder. Nobody is getting killed, although a few of the anti-Foreman fans try to. The lights go out and there is mass panic, because nobody can see who is speaking and the microphones are off, so answers are not being heard. But shouts can be heard however, because when there is a blackout for some reason, people have a tendency to freak out. There are some things that can be made out, but it is not known who is saying them.)

"What the hell happened!?"

"I'm afraid of the dark!"

"Well, IS THERE HUDDY OR NOT?"

"Noooo! You stepped in the fluffernutters!"

"Oof. That was my foot!"

"I HAVE HEMORRHOIDS!

"Dear God, who just touched me there?!"

"Mommy!"

"SHUT UP!"

(The lights and power turn back on as Revengent's voice echoes through the room. She is standing in her chair with her hands up the air, asking for peace. The crowd is all scattered now and they are trying to find their seats. Chase is sitting in Wilson's lap, and when he realizes he isn't Cameron, and that Wilson just happens to have silky smooth hair like her, he falls on the floor landing on his bum. Foreman is hiding under his chair [how he got under there is a mystery] and is glaring at a few members of the audience who are glaring back at him with contempt. Thirteen has peanut butter and marshmallow all over her shoes and when Chase sees this, he crawls over to her shoes and begins to beat them.)

(Looking over to Kutner, we can now see the cause of the blackout. Kutner is holding the defibrillators and they are smoking. Taub looks rather pissed off and is holding his chest, and his and Kutner's shirts look singed. We can only assume that Kutner's hands slipped and accidently shocked Taub, and there was some sort of power surge that caused the madness.)

**Cuddy:** …and that is the answer to that question.

**Revengent:** (Plops down in chair.) WHAT? We missed that question?!

**Cuddy:** (Shrugs.)

**Taub:** Damn it! (Kicks the plate of fluffernutters.) I wanted to know!

**Chase:** Stop kicking the fluffernutters like a football!

**House:** Don't you mean soccer ball?

**Chase:** Why don't you shut up?

**House:** You can't make me!

**Chase:** Well, you can just-

(There is another loud _bang_, but this time it wasn't a Kutner induced explosion, it was just Revengent firing a gun into the ceiling to gain attention.)

**Revengent: **Listen. To. Me. (Pieces of ceiling fall down, since she fired a gun in the air. She puts the gun back in her pocket.) Let's get on with this, m'kay? Here are two questions for Cuddy from Hollyclaw. First: Does it bother you that House's mom who is really old has fewer gray hairs then you do?

**House:** My mom's not _that_ old.

**Cuddy:** Why do people have to point out my faults? I'm hot enough, right? (Cheers from crowd.) But really, it doesn't bother me to have grey hairs. It adds to my beauty.

**Revengent:** I must need a better television monitor of something, because I have never seen any grey hairs…oh well. Here's the next question: Why didn't you just ask House for a sperm donor like we wanted you to? It would be awesome to see you and House become a twisted couple.

**Cuddy:** Why do you guys always want to decide whose sperm goes in me?

**Revengent: **Why do you always ask questions instead of answering them?

**Cuddy:** I'm the good one! Why are you getting on to me?

**Revengent:** AH! Another question!

**Cuddy:** …I can't think of another question. So…about the original question. I don't know. It would be super awkward to come out and ask House _I want your sperm._ How do you really ask someone that?

**House:** Well, there's a really simple way. You ask, and then you and I go somewhere that can be alone and I provide it for you.

**Revengent:** There you go. Problem solved. House, here's a question for you from sailormoonfreak5311: Is it possible for you to get any funnier (not to mention sexy)?

**House:** Yes. Although I am the only human being that has obtained this level of sexiness.

**Revengent: **You're a legend in your own mind House. Here's a question for Thirteen: What were you thinking hooking up with Foreman? HE'S MINE!

**Thirteen: **You can have him.

**Revengent:** There you go. (Looks at card and giggles.) Now here's one for (giggles) Cuddy, Thirteen, Cameron and (giggles) Chase: What is it like to be the females on a show that is mainly male?

(Collective laughter from crowd and people on stage.)

**Cuddy:** We get hit on a lot.

**Thirteen:** Yeah, and random people start making out with us. Like that painter guy. He just grabbed me and started kissing me.

**Cameron:** But it does give us an ego boost. We're hot _and _smart.

**Chase:** Wait a second…I'm not a female!

**Revengent:** And that all the questions and all the time we have for today! Be sure to tune it next time to _Ask a Doctor! _and if there's something you want to know about these doctors, ask it!

(As the scene fades away, Chase is seen trying to argue with the others, saying that he is not a female, while the other doctors ignore him and talk amongst themselves.)

* * *

**Haha. Well, you know the only way to have this keep going is for you to review and ask some questions. So go ahead, don't be shy :) I'd like to give a HUGE thanks to everybody that has reviewed and asked questions. Without you guys, it wouldn't be possible.**

**And for you people that are interested, here's a list of all the _House_ episodes I made references to...the ones I don't list, I hope you know where they came from...**

**Love Kills: The episode with the guy that also plays Harold.  
Adverse Events: Random guy making out with Thriteen.  
Let Them Eat Cake: Where Kutner and Taub got pranked by House into thinking they killed a woman, then that she came back to life.  
The Greater Good: Tumor that magically poofed from Thirteen's brain.**


End file.
